On the subject of being black — 20 Comments

    • Hang on….  Have to find where I am at the moment and then get directions to the village….

    • Would you believe that is the first time I have heard the sound to that?  Just shows how efficient I am with the Mute button?

      It still doesn’t make any sense though.

  1. Yes, social engineers have turned their attention to advertising recently and are intent on crowbarring ‘diversity’ into everything, often with unintentionally risible results. One example that springs to mind features a little diverse girl who lives in what appears to be a stately home Skype-ing her grandfather (who is presumably in the Caribbean). Don’t ask me what product is being advertised – haven’t a scooby. Then there are several by companies who seem to be labouring under the bizarre illusion that there is a vast untapped market of middle-class black nuclear families with a father in residence. So much for hard-headed capitalists – they seem more concerned with spunking money up the wall on virtue-signalling than profits.

    • Welcome Trevor!

      If I take the characters on Irish advertising [or indeed on Irish television in general] to be representative of the population as a whole then I can only assume that 90% of the population is now foreign.  When they do a “vox pop” or whatever, it’s a case of “spot the Irish”!  Great fun.

    • Then there are several by companies who seem to be labouring under the bizarre illusion that there is a vast untapped market of middle-class black nuclear families with a father in residence.

      Ha! That made me laugh out loud!

  2. “What the fuck is that about?  What do Oranges taste like?  What do dog turds taste like?  If you want to find out then go and fucking taste some.”


    I did – when I ate the dog turd it tasted like Guinness.

  3. YAY the ‘used toilet paper’ look is goned! Nice you went for something traditionally Irish like plyboard 😛

    • I wondered how long it would be before you noticed.  You didn’t disappoint.

      If you want something traditionally Irish, how about turf?  [I mean the peat kind, not grass]  You’d soon complain about that!

    • Yes, and not even a classy veneered ply. From the cracks and splits and the raised grain, I’d say it was grade ‘B’ shuttering ply…

  4.  How the fuck do you describe taste on a computer screen? 

    Just not online but even IRL it’s almost impossible, as I have discovered trying to describe the taste of different tobaccos. You can only go on comparisons…which is ok as long as you can identify something that isn’t unique. I have been racking my brains for a ‘it tastes like’ for Semois and Wervik tobaccos.

    If that wasn’t enough, it seems everyone experiences tobacco taste and smell differently. There is a famous anecdote of visitors to the most famous Lakeland tobacco factory having to choose between 6 samples and declare which one of the 6 is the one and only true son of god or something. Of course all the samples are infact the same tobacco but everyone (all experienced pipe smokers) thus tested has declared one of the samples as the genuine ‘best brown’. …I’m told there are even people who claim to enjoy ‘Cutters Crap’…personally if I wanted to smoke silage, well…I live in Norfolk…rotting grass we have barns full of.

    • It’s nigh impossible to describe any sensory experience except by comparison.  How can I extol the flavour of lovely Condor or the tang of Irish whiskey to someone who has never tasted either?

  5. Slightly off topic GD but it does relate to advertising. I’ve noticed a change of tactics in the latest anti-smoker propaganda on TV in Australia. Gone are the actors coughing up fake blood etc. Now the ads show a woman smoking outside an office building cringing as people look at her walking past and says, “are you tired of being judged?” Or a bloke in a crowded room looking uncomfortable, “you know you smell.” Or a bloke buying smokes, “wouldn’t you like to save money?” Or, “are you sick of hiding from your kids?” “Wouldn’t you like to come in from the cold?” Seems like they realise the medical porn on packs (plain packaging) has been a failure, so now it’s attack the smoker by depicting them as social outcasts.

    What does Guinness taste like?

    Easy one, it tastes like Guinness. I know this because the bowls club I occasionally go to has it on tap and it doesn’t taste like anything else. Doesn’t even taste like the local stout.

    • I don’t see how any of that has any effect?  Am I tired of being judged?  No, because that implies that I give a fuck about other people’s opinion of me.  I know I smell?  Yes, and I couldn’t count the number of compliments I have received, and it’s better than stale piss anyway?  Would I save money?  No.  I’d spend it on something else.  Sick of hiding from my kids?  No.  Why the fuck shouldn’t I smoke in front of the grandkids if I want to?  It’s my house and my grandkids – my house, my rules and not the rules of some cunt in Public Health.  Would I like to come in from the cold?  That doesn’t apply as I don’t go out into the cold unless I have to.  They seem to be under some illusion that I am ashamed of what I do?  Fuck that – I’m a pipe smoker and proud of it!

  6. For some funny reason I came across an older article of yours today, “How to survive your first Guinness.”  Seen this new one and figured I would pop off a comment here since the older thread is closed I suppose.  Never tried Guinness before, however, the comments left me going out to pick some up.  Granted I’m here in America for the time being, so I know I’m not getting my gob on the best stuff. Poured and took my first quaff and fuck me! I’ve been missing out all these years. Even with it being a sad version of the real stuff, I’m dearly in love. First stop when I get back across – an Irish pub for a pint of the good stuff.

    Of all the time spent in Ireland, never once did I drink Guinness in a pub. Grandad, you sir, have opened my eyes and my palate to a superior stout. Hats off to you mate, it nearly brought a tear to my eye drinking it.  Now time to return to my third.

    • Welcome JKilroy!  That post, written in a moment of whimsy has been read over 400,000 times which never ceases to amaze me.  I have never tried Guinness in America [an experience I am quite willing to forgo] but I do hear tell it isn’t quite up to the mark.

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