A blow job
I confess I am intrigued.
The French are talking about bringing in a law to ban, amongst other things, a wolf-whistle.
I am curious as to how they propose to police this.
First of all, I suppose they have to define exactly what a wolf-whistle is. Just as there is a prototype standard metre bar against which all other instruments can be calibrated, is there to be a Standard Wolf Whistle held in a vault somewhere to be used as an international standard?
And having established the precise tone, pitch and cadence of the wolf-whistle how can they prove in court that the whistler didn’t happen to be whistling a snatch of Mozart where a couple of bars sounded like a wolf-whistle?
Indeed, where is the proof that the whistler whistled in the first place? Where is the forensic evidence? Does a whistle have a fingerprint or its own DNA? Can the whistle itself be brought into court and used as Exhibit A?
Once again the Politically Correct are getting their own way. While I agree that lewd suggestions and overtly crude comments shouted in public can be annoying, and even threatening, they are an issue of common decency and manners which have no place in the law books. There are already laws against “giving offence” on some statute books which is an indicator of the way political correctness is being enforced even in the courts. How do you define “offence”? How to you define “whistle”? It’s a fucking mess.
“It’s all very well for you” they shout, “You’re a man and don’t know what it’s like”. Well, I spent some time in Belfast when there was a virtual civil war going on up there. I happened to have more than a passing resemblance to Gerry Adams and was frequently shouted at in the street. Someone shouts “Hey Adams! You’re a fucking republican cunt” and they may have a pistol in their pocket? Now that’s intimidation. So do not lecture me – I have been there. It’s not nice but to try to pass a law against it is like trying to grasp a soap bubble.
So all together lads….
Just put your lips together
and blow.
It will also be necessary to carefully define and distinguish the sort of whistle commonly used to attract the attention of a colleague just outside hailing distance. And the “whew!” whistle used to indicate shock, alarm or surprise. Aw heck. Just ban all whistling.
It’s just another indicator of the insane world we are heading towards. Ban this! Ban that! Ban everything in case it just may, remotely offend someone. Ban whistling and while we’re at it, ban all singing and music – there are some very “offensive” lyrics out there. And just look at Bizet’s “Carmen”!!! Set in a cigarette factory??? Shock! Horror!
BAN IT ALL!!!
There’s always the “Yes I did whistle, but I wasn’t whistling at you.” defence.
Or blame it on a Blackbird? Blackbirds are amazing mimics. There used to be one that perfected the sound of a car alarm and he used to sit on a tree in front of the house shrilling away. I fucking hated that bird!
How about a thrush imitating a mobile phone’s ringing – took me days to realize there was not constantly an idiot in front of my window being called.
And of course, as they banned Gerry’s voice on TV, so speaking would not help you.
Any funny/terrifying stories of being mistaken?
Actually, I met him for the first time this summer, as he’s the only TD in Louth that works
And didn’t banning Gerry’s voice work out well?! Last time I met him was in the Ulster Hall [Good Friday election results]. I’m taller than him. I got on better with John Hume.
Sigh. Just ban humans and have done with it.
There are many tree-huggers who would advocate just that.
Let’s demand a universal law banning all laws that ban things?
I happily go along with that!
Wonder you didn’t collect a bullet, given the resemblance to Adams.
Strangely, I can only whistle when sucking, not blowing.
Oi, BD, that’s enough dirty talk!
I believe this is the global standard for a wolf whistle (or not):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBpthkOFPvA
Sorry it came out so large but I guess there’s no way to control the size.