The Scunthorpe Syndrome — 27 Comments

  1. Simplest approach would be to bring up a picture of a nude Theresa May everytime you click on a pornsite link.Problem being Monasterys would soon become overcrowded.Once seen……..

  2. There is always the Darknet.

    Let’s see them try to block that!

    Actually I’m betting a lot of teens get their porn via their own ‘darknet’ or ‘Sexting on MSM’ ( ‘Whatchav’ I think the best ap for it is called?). Teens this days are porn connoisseurs- no one wants hi gloss, hi def airbrushed cunnys & Miss Snatchtwatlova…they want the Chavette next door, the ‘au natural’….it has to ‘mean something’ or so I am led to believe by my contacts among ‘da yuff’.

    • On a related note: I don’t normally password my WIFI (all that old time hacker ethos thing) and I live above a fast food outlet frequented by teens of an evening-frequented I think by ALL the teens in the town of an evening because there is only that or hang out at the bus shelter. I am constantly amazed how many of them don’t seem to realise that danger in their Smart Phones auto-logging on to any unlocked WIFI in the vicinity.

      Mind you the volume at which most of them seem to hold a conversation, there would be little to be gained from hacking their phones directly….and the language they use…Sweet Jesus fucking wept, I was shocked, I tell you -SHOCKED…and that’s just the girls!

      • For fuck’s sake!! Give us the fucking details!  You can’t just make statements like that without passing on some juicy stuff.

        • To be honest I just turn up Tom Waits’ soft dulcet tones harking back to a kinder more gentile age  , drowning out their accounts and discussions with their ‘besties’  of anal sex and blowjobs when they happen to be on their periods (apparently modern boys have a thing about blood, bloody whimps that they are). Only time i do actively listen is if they are talking about smoking. As my flat is above the route of the morning Children’s Crusade (ie school way) I get to hear things like the following:

          *sound of girl vomiting in gutter*

          The voice of more ‘mature’ girlfriend, holding back the vomiting ones hair and saying: “You’ll only puke the first couple of times, but it’s worth it to be able to eat what you want and stay thin and all the boys think it makes you sexy”.

          Or words to that effect. What struck me wasn’t that they weren’t talking about blow jobs as I first thought before i looked out the window but about smoking and that in accents which weren’t in anyway ‘Norfolk’ or ‘uneducated’ but from obviously ‘good’ middle class homes- homes where Mommy and Daddy either never smoked or gave it up around the time Tony Blair did, homes where Mommy and Daddy would be shocked to learn that their precious princess knew what either a blow job or a cigarette were -let alone indulge in either.

          • I would imagine that the modern Mumsie and Dadsie wouldn’t turn a hair at the mention of blow jobs or bulimia, but would be horrified to the core at the talk about cigarettes.  Smoking has become the greatest evil ever to befall mankind, surpassing junior sex, eating disorders or anything else.

  3. Banning porn? Nah, never happen. Not unless UK decided to take lessons from Beijing on how to effectively censor the Internet. And monitoring all web traffic for “obscene” words would never work since they should be monitoring all web traffic for “obscene” videos and images, not words. But that won’t happen either.

    I mean, what would happen to HR if they successfully censored “bad” words and such? I can’t imagine what a fully redacted version of HR would be like.


    • I can’t imagine what a fully redacted version of HR would be like.”  Just the banner at the top?

    • You can also buy drugs, weapons any amount of lovely stuff.  However if you decide to go on a Heroin induced rampage around Kilkenny, I will deny mentioning that.

      • <i> Heroin induced rampage around Kilkenny</i>

        is there anything else to do in Kilkenny of a wet Saturday night? Not that I have ever been to the place , nor Ireland itself either but I imagine it to be like Wales without the good weather and I always found it took skag to make the Valleys and Methyr bearable….alcohol alone just didn’t cut it.

        • Kilkenny is a place where one can stand in a street and see seven licensed premises in a row!

          There will nearly always be live music in one or more of the pubs, which cater for every possible drinker’s taste.

          The only things to avoid are the stag and hen parties who have come in from the neighbouring island and often seem unable to hold their drink.

          • see seven licensed premises in a row!


            *edit see seven NON SMOKING licensed premises in a row! I rest my case M’lud. Pass the opiates.

            Joking aside, one of the things I loved about pubs in Scotland in the 80s was the impromptu music; “Kaleigh” as I would say it -being a Brit and therefore incapable of pronouncing ‘Ceilidh’-that and the 40 or so different brands of Scotch lined up on the bar. I know little about music but even to my untrained eyes and ears, some of the -usually more the worse for alcoholic wear- itinerant musicians that wandered in and pulled instruments out of plastic carrier bags, or bin bags for larger bits of kit, were world class.

  4. You think Scunthorpe is going to have it bad, spare a thought for the good burghers and parish council of

    Maybe they will have to rename their village .

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