There is some very bad news for the residents of the UK.

From next year, they are to be denied yet another avenue of “private” pleasure.

Yes indeed.  The UK is to block porn on the Interwebs, thereby slashing Kleenex Tissue’s share price and removing stickiness from the nation’s keyboards and computer screens.

Being the Nanny State they haven’t really thought this through, but then they never do, do they?  They think up some harebrained scheme [for the sake of the cheeeldren of course] but then they leave it up to others to work out how their aspirations are to be achieved.

Of course they could do something simple like leaving to the nation’s parents to supervise their little brats, but that doesn’t involve a ban, or a law, or fines.  No Nanny State is worth its salt if it doesn’t have loads of bans, laws and fines.  So they somehow have to work out a system where they can monitor what people are trying to view.  Naturally, they haven’t a fucking clue how this is to be done so they wash their hands of the problem and say that it’s up to the service providers.  They learned that method from Tobacco Control who left it to publicans to police their own customers.

So how will the service providers do it?

Are they supposed to block specific web addresses?  Good fucking luck with that one.  Every provider would need a heavily staffed department just to ban all the addresses as they pop up.

Will they insist on porn sites putting a little “Are you over 18?” thingy on the front page?  That will really work well.  Naturally the thousands/millions of site owners throughout the world will be only too delighted to comply with that?

How about monitoring all web traffic for “obscene” words?  They tried that once before which let to an uproar from the people of Scunthorpe [Jayzus – do I have to spell it out for you?] who suddenly found their town had vanished from cyberspace.

If by some miracle they do devise some method of filtering porn then what next?  My money is on a Politically Correct Web.  All sites will be banned if their content contains any gender specific noun, pronoun or adjective.  That should make searches a lot easier – instead of getting millions of results for your search, you’d be very lucky to get one.

Then the Anti-Smokers will want to get in on the act.  Filter all sites that mention tobacco, smoking, cigarettes or fags?  [Though on second though, “fags” would already be cut under porn or non-PC?]

But don’t worry people.

There is always the Darknet.

Let’s see them try to block that!