Grandad unplugged
Once again, disaster has struck in this household.
I woke yesterday morning without a care in the world without a hint of the catastrophe that was about to strike.
Mid afternoon I wandered down to the village to get the paper and a supply of baccy for the week.
No baccy!
Not a whiff of Condor, nor any other pipe baccy either. All they had was fag baccy which naturally they tried to pawn off on me. I declined.
I admit it was a shock but there is another shop so all was not lost.
I mosied on down to the other shop and asked for Condor.
They had none!
Now I was beginning to get a little worried. I asked for Mellow Virginia but they were out of that too. What the fuck is going on here?
In the end, I thought I would try a new baccy and they did have a pack or two of Yachtsman Navy Plug, so I bought one.
It’s not Condor but what the hell. It’s also a plug tobacco and when I opened the pack there was the fifty gram solid block. It is many the year since I dealt with plug tobacco as it requires slicing and rubbing.
When I got home, I got myself a length of plank as a cutting board, carefully sharpened my penknife and set to work. It requires patience, but I have that. It requires precision but I can do that. It requires persistence but I’m okay with that too.
So what the fuck is going on here? Are they gearing up for new packs and aren’t delivering until the new packs are ready? Have they withdrawn my brand? Are they just being spiteful?
Is it the end of the world?
What, no Dr Pat Irish Mixture,no Erinmore Flake.
Not even Maltan.
You could probably find ‘Old Holborn’ rolling tobacco (if in Eire it be sold at all) to your taste . It is somewhat akin to the aromatic pipe or ‘Lakeland style’ tobaccos you prefer (tonka beans, rose water, geranium oil etc). If you find it burns too quickly you could always compress it into a block yourself- I’d try a weighty tome , perhaps the collected rantings of Colonel Mad Dog Gadaffi Duck on a bread board over night as a ‘press’. Although I use very fine cut tobacco (even says on the tin ‘for pipe or cigarette) in my own pipe without problem, just compress it slightly more in the bowl.
You’ve checked the online tobacconists in Ireland to see if they will deliver you, and can deliver unto you for shiny punts, in future?
I hadn’t thought of it but I could put in an order for groceries and include a few packs of baccy but then I’d have to wait ’til the next day. And I am well stocked up on groceries anyway. Buying online is a way to go but then I’d have to pay postage on top of all that tax. Am I not paying enough already?
Similar Condor famine in England cupla months ago while they arranged extra size healthist porn on the packets. Now back to normal except for the increased porn level.
Yes, I have a feeling that’s what may be going on. The daughter was complaining yesterday that her rollie tobacco has suddenly increased to double its size and double the price. She couldn’t see the logic so I had to sit her down and explain the logic: that there isn’t any, except to encourage her to smoke more.