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Resurrecting the dead — 23 Comments

    • I have been trying, off and on, to write a horror story for Leg. It is surprisingly difficult. Not my usual writing ‘genre’ as we writers say (when we’re affected dicks and prize cocks). I usually write a nasty mix of ‘pass the mind bleach’ crime & ‘slo burn’ porn. Horror isn’t easy, it has been done to death. I spent a couple of weeks working on an Easter story for Leg and after two weeks off and on I pressed delete “YES I AM BLOODY SURE ” because despite some Original ‘motifs’ (to get all writery and poncy again) I just couldn’t find a way to make a ‘wicker man’ story about the German Easter Fox (yes really, there are a couple of very small villages in Germany where they have an Easter Fox not a bunny) scary. Black humour? Yes. Decidedly kinky? Sure (bear in mind that ‘eggs’ can mean both eggs and testicles in German). But scary? Nope. Not a frisson to be found.

       

      • The only way my magnum opus could be considered a horror story is in the style of writing.  I have discovered the best way is to just write.  Once I have completed a few thousand words, just delete the fucking thing.  It’s not guaranteed to supply a finished product, but it keeps the keyboard busy.

        • That mirrors my own early writing style, except mine involved drinking enough whilst doing it late at night so as the first rays of dawn limped like a spastic parrot over the rooftops of London, I had not only deleted it from the ‘page’ but from my mind also. Never underestimate the sheer erasing power of cheap gin.

        • Thank you but the thought of the Easter Fox carrying off the Easter Eggs away in his teeth lined jaws…and bearing in mind that ‘eggs’ means ‘balls’ in German…it might have been just a little too kinky for Leg even….especially the ‘cream’ filling oozing out of said Creme Eggs. And then there was the whole custom of said villages ‘burning Judas’ and that just got a bit too Summer Isle to be taken seriously. Mind you it give me an excuse to Youtube the ‘bedroom song’ clip and watch a very young Woodward …squirm.
          *gets back to penning ’50 Shades Of Dwarf’*

            • I may try. If I can find something original, a new take on it. Smooth hickory broomstick handles gliding across engorged labia has also been, like the broomsticks themselves, somewhat over used..although I read an account of homemade ‘flying potion’ recently that might have something beyond anointing chakras, vaginas and breasts.

               

               

  1. O/T question for the munchkins over at curratech which i will ask here incase anyone else might find the answer useful.

    GD, we emailed yesterday about my domain hosting being a bit of a mess. In the mean time Dropbox has finally pissed me off enough that I will manually download my 120gb of Granddaughter Photos and ‘re up’ to another cloud sync that actually works. It occurs to me I have unlimited storage and bandwidth on my hosting so can you, GD, recommend me any dropbox-but-actually-fecking-works server side cloudsync software, doesn’t have to be free just work?…and idiot proof would be good cos there is, like with USB stix, never one to hand when I need one.

    • Slightly O/T all right?  I have asked the munchkins and they sniggered at the thought of finding an online free storage for 120Gb.  There is a temptation to sign up with a hosting company who offers “unlimited storage” but I think you would suddenly find they have a different definition of “unlimitted”.

      Seriously, the best I would suggest is a usb drive.  Buy a 2.5″ laptop HD [around £50 for 1Tb?] and a USB caddy for it [around a fiver].  It even works without an Interweb connection!

      • Thanks but one of my brighter sons bought me, his aged Papa, a very snazzy, rubberized black and dead sexy looking Toshiba  External HD USB with more Terry’s chocolate orange bites thingys than even Lord Lichfield will ever need (and I’m downloading the contents of my dropbox onto it as I speak then ftping it further up to my website storage). Tell the manic munchkins to stop with the sniggering, I said it didn’t have to be free, I pay drop-pox-on-all-their-helplines and Heistgator enough a month. I just wondered if there was a better option than my circa 1995 technique of making my own barebones FTP storage site. (at this rate I’ll junk FTP and go for Gopher…at least that will give me bragging rights and I might get a cool t-shirt slogan out of it.

        • So if you have your photos on your PC/laptop/gadget and on a separate disk, why do you need them all on the Cloud?  Or are you just one of those people who just bores the world rigid by insisting they see all your holiday snaps?

          • Yep, that’s right. Dropbox is the dreaded Slide Show of yesteryear. You know, when the family  budding amateur photographer, the budding David Bailey, happy snapper  and usually your Dad or an Uncle, would set up the projector and aim it at the white woodchip cos he was too tight to afford a screen. 30 different shots of AuntyJune upside down with her blubber spilling over the bikini bottoms and bingo wing buoyancy aids. “And here’s Fred putting a straw hat on the donkey at Margate, he’s such a card!”

            Anyways I think i’m going to try something called ‘Own Cloud’ which looks like it might do the job….and if not there is always Google Drive You To Distraction.

            • Two other solutions – either open up a new hosting account, password protect everything and just use it for file sharing, or else set up a PC in your own place and allow access through your router from outside, just to the one device?

              • and why would i be wanting to password protect everything?!? I don’t keep my midget-nun-donkey-porn online. At the moment ‘Own Cloud’ seems to be an answer ie like droppox but actually works. Did a test install of it yesterday and it seems ok. I believe ‘Own Cloud’ runs on linux but so far it has behaved, probably just waiting for the right moment to make me regret having a hosting site that runs on Centos and not Microshit.

                Never trust an OS that still thinks it is talking to a Teleprinter (TTY).

                • and why would i be wanting to password protect everything?!?”  Do you want the world and his mother to be able to dump all sorts of shit into an account?

                • Do you want the world and his mother to be able to dump all sorts of shit into an account?

                  You still haven’t forgiven me for Tub Girl have you? 😛

                   

  2. Have you considered the possibility of printing 500 numbered and personally signed copies? Costing 100 euro each and obtainable only through the postal service, books could be sent to buyers with a free sample of your favourite pipe tobacco. They’d be treasured from generation to generation as family heirlooms.

  3. Finish up your book, GD, regardless of what may come of it in the end. Even if it isn’t published you could send me a copy anyway? (I’d run it through one of those programs that grind it up and spit it out as a .epub or .moby or something I can stick on my Kindle). I wouldn’t give a damn if you had me in as one of your characters and just maligned the hell out of him, I’d just chuckle right through it.

    And I still have your first effort sitting in it’s honored place in my library. I even take it out, dust it off and read it every once in awhile.

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