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Anna Raccoon news – The Ego Has Landed!

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From The Blocked Dwarf,  our very foreign correspondent in Norfolk.

Anna Raccoon

The Ego has landed!

Those are her, the Raccoon’s, words not mine. One of the things that has always impressed me about her is that in a blogosphere where having a weapons grade ego the size of Wales is a prerequisite, the Raccoon manages to keep hers firmly in check….most of the time.

I, your dwarfish correspondent from the flatlands, had, last week, the great good fortune to live nearer to her hospital bed than even Mr G and so I went up and saw her briefly a couple of times . I say ‘briefly’ because it wouldn’t do for her to get the idea I was actually worried about the old battle axe.

The Landlady has returned home after the kind of stay in hospital which would give any ‘normal’ person PTSD and, no, I’m not exaggerating when I say I’ve known combat hardened elite soldiers who would have buckled mentally from a fraction of the trauma, actually ‘torture’, she has suffered. Never underestimate the amount of ‘pinned to the ceiling’ pain little old ladies can endure and still keep all their cups in the welsh dresser of their minds.

I can’t go into details, but keep your eyes on the MSM the next little while because not only has her mind not cracked under the strain, nor has the ‘unruly toddler in a supermarket’ of her cancer managed to find it’s way to her brain after doing things to her spine that are reminiscent of KGB torture methods (google up’playing the piano’ and ‘gulag’) but neither have ‘take down rabid elephants’ doses of ketamine and heroin dulled her understanding; you would not believe the rigmarole involved in getting her her daily dose of trainspottingesque goodness to her, again no exaggeration, I have known drug runners who smuggled in stuff with less faffing, less ‘security’.

She is now paralysed from the waist down and pisses into a bag; but hell, I’ll let her speak for herself (like I have any choice in the matter!):

“Ms Raccoon is reinstalled in the Raccoonerie.
It has taken a military operation and an extraordinary effort on the part of the nhs, but the wonderful Dr H has fired exocet missiles into every corner of the nhs and I am now in my orgasmic (note from TBD: an £8K bed which in her own words has so many functions it is guaranteed to give her an ‘orgasm by the end of the week‘) in the middle of the kitchen, wired up to the national grid (and apparently even the electricity bill is courtesy of the nhs as of last night!)
and fed a 24 hour diet of 250 ml of Ketamine and 175 ml of heroin. ”

See what I mean about her flesh being royally knackered but her mind still ‘so sharp you’ll cut yourself’ as Grandma Dwarf would have said? Go on, I dare you, shoot up on any Class A and then try and write,or even just think, coherently.

Her email of this morning to me continued:

“In the past two months I have become a mother to two grown 50 year old children that I gave up for adoption 50 years ago.

I have become a sister to two brothers I could have fallen over in the street and not known who they were.

I have acquired two sisters in laws.

I have acquired three grandchildren I didn’t know existed.

I have acquired a son in law and a daughter in law.

I have lost all control over my body from the chest downwards. ”

(another note from TBD: she has also acquired  carers who will actually ‘care’ because they are true friends first and carers second.  As marvelous as G is a husband , I doubt he’d be able to do it without them. You can’t buy that level of caring love).

For those wondering; the doctors have given her a departure date sometime around the start of what passes for summer here in Norfolk.  The same doctors who said she’d be in hospital at least another ten days to methadonize her way onto a new and eyebleedingly expensive form of medical grade smack. Don’t get me wrong, she has excellent doctors but doctors aren’t turf accountants, they have no understanding of ‘form’.

The SP on this particular old mare making Michaelmas has to be worth a punt.

Hell I might even go a few quid on ‘there will be snow on the roof of Raccoon Lair this Xmas’.

 

 

Comments

Anna Raccoon news – The Ego Has Landed! — 75 Comments

    • More than likely she will see your wishes herself. As you can tell from the photo someone , who shall remain nameless, took total fucking leave of their senses and put a computer within her weakened stoned grasp.

       

  3. Getting bloody tired of having own minor problems put into perspective by Anna’s travails – but long may they continue! An inspiration…

    x

  7. Thanks for posting that update and may she long continue to astonish the doctors.

  8. Thats bloody wonderful news,thanks for the update.

    If you read this, Chapeau Ma’am.

     

  9. Thank you for the suitably obtuse update and best wishes to the patient – mind you, perhaps that’s a misnomer?

  10. Heartfelt thanks for the update, HR and BD, and love and best wishes to Mme Raccoon.

  11. Thanks so much for the update, so glad she has found her family after so long, it almost makes it all worth while. it is a minor miracle that there is no spread to the brain, that’s unusual in my experience. I won’t be surprised when she outlasts all medical predictions. Sending love and great admiration for a very brave and stubborn lady. xx

     

     

     

  12. Dear The Blocked Dwarf and Anna Raccoon

    Thank you for the update.

    Best wishes to Mme Raccoon. Long may you continue to be an example to us all of the power of determination in the face of all that life may bring.

    I am glad to hear you have acquired such an extensive family so quickly.

    All the best,

    DP

    • Michael – are you the Michael with the private server? If so, could you  DM me on Twitter? @AnnaRaccoon2017. Thanks.

  16. How wonderful to hear this news!  Thank you Blocked for being the messenger.  An entire family – wow!  Love to see her sense of humour is still working even if the lower extremities have gone on strike. 

    Best wishes, Anna, from a humble fan from the rolling hills of maryland, usa

    • Yes it is very good of him ( and JK who mirrored the post) to agree to publish News From Raccoonia. Even the more because he tries to get them up as soon after I send them him as possible and  he has to manually reformat each post which, whilst not a big job, still probably takes half an hour that he might want to spend doing something other than bugger around with html code.

  18. Hi everyone, just had a lovely FaceTime call with Anna, I was so surprised and delighted. She looks remarkably well in the circumstances. She told me about the Times story so I have ordered a copy for Sunday. Quite made my day so thanks Anna xx

    • Oh dear God! Bad enough they let her near her email account. Today Face Time, tomorrow World War 3.  

  19. A new phone so of course she had to check it out and see how face time worked! You can’t keep that lady down.

    • A new phone that I refused, point blank, to help her set up. I just want to make that clear. I am in NO WAY responsible…..I’m innocent i tell you! Innocent! The guilty party is known and will be held to account.

      Did she tell you that that new phone was actually a present from another  friend? That’s how highly some of her friends think of her.

       

      • No she didn’t say, not surprised though she is a unique person and if there is anything I could contribute for her comfort I would gladly give it. I miss the blog, I could always rely on good conversation at the Racoon Inn, first thing I read every day. Compared to most it seemed a sane place, almost all disagreements were civilized. I do wonder what happened to some of the old regular contributors Gildas and I have forgotten the other name now, who just seemed to vanish? Anyway that’s OT as long as Anna is coping that’s all that matters. 

        • “I do wonder what happened to some of the old regular contributors Gildas and I have forgotten the other name now, who just seemed to vanish? “-Carol42

          You probably mean Petunia ? Whilst I’m not privy to the details, Anna keeps her close friends’ secrets close , but I gather there was a fairly private parting of the ways with some hurtful things, probably unintentionally hurtful,  said. I know for a fact Pet wishes her all the best and I’m sure gildas would say the same. People grow apart, sometimes it’s for the best. Pet still has a blog and writes some cracking stuff although I haven’t looked in for a while. Google ‘winegum telegram’. I think Gildas writes there too.

          • Thanks for that, I liked them both and will certainly Google the blog. Petunia was the name I couldn’t remember, must be old age settling in ! 

            • I liked them both too. Infact a Gildas ‘history’ post on a Sunday morning was a treat to be savored. But you know what they say: Put 3 really talented, passionate, writers in a room and you’ll get 4 blogs out.

  20. Thanks very much, T.B.D., for keeping us at the bar informed.

    I must say how impressive I find the efforts of the much maligned N.H.S. on our procyonic landlady’s behalf … and how pleased that it do.

    ΠΞ

  22. This is absolutely, and without a shadow of a doubt, the best news I’ve had in a long, long time. Thanks for sharing this, and let me add my best wishes to the long list of people who hold Anna in such high esteem and fond regard.

  23. Night, night all. Another pain free day, being treated like the Queen of Sheba…..

    Anybody who thinks I might pop me clogs before Sunday when the Sunday Times is published just doesn’t know me at all…….

    Your favorite drama queen refuses to go with a whimper when she could go with a bang!

    I’m enjoying the ride……

    Thanks for letting me hijack your blog Grandad! So many old friends. xxxxx

    • See I’m rather late saying ‘good night’ so I’ll say ‘good morning’ instead.

      Must’ve missed something but have made a note to buy a copy of Sunday’s Times.

      ΠΞ

      • No Pericles, you haven’t missed anything. It’s something, for reasons of press embargo etc, that has only been hinted obtusely at here. All will become clear on Sunday :). If I were you I would have a fresh supply of Basildon Bond in and charge up your best letter writing  fountain pen with good quality ink for Sunday…unless the Sunday Times now accept emailed ‘Dear Sir’s that is?

  24. Haven’t dropped by for a few days so this is new, and very good, news to me.
    Thanks Mr Dwarf; best wishes Ms. Raccoon.
    Great is the mystery of life 🙂

  25. May it please the court to learn that I have just returned from visiting the Raccoon for an hour or so.

    She describes her current situation as ‘ reclining like the Queen Of Sheba’. Me, I’d go for ‘draped on the bed like Madame bloody Pompadeur’ but that’d make G Louis ExVee and that’s were the analogy breaks all it’s legs at the first hurdle and requires shooting.  And anyways Madame de Pompadeur didn’t have the sort of legs dancers and models would kill for, or if she did, she didn’t flash them at poor old Franky Boucher.

    She is surrounded by her carers who harken to and hasten to fulfill her every whim and who bring her biscuits and toast with seedless raspberry jam on demand. Allowing her to get on with the business of tearing the Great and The Good ‘new ones’ via email.  I’ve said it before and I will say it again, what that woman can organise from her death bed and still find time to help her friends…is breath taking. This morning when I arrived she was making a wish come true for one of her new carers (who seemed slightly overwhelmed by the vortexing insanity that tends to surround La Raccoon…poor girl).

    I was lucky enough to meet two of her other close friends, for the first time IRL, there today and yet again I think both the Landlady and G can count themselves blessed to have so many genuinely good people in their lives. Ok some of them have got their heads in the clouds a bit but still with their feet nailed firmly to the floor. The Smudge is (stunningly attractive with a brain to match btw, don’t let the nick name fool you)  an organizational talent and what is more understands the difference between such things as ‘few and less’ and ‘dinner and tea’. When she’s not hunting down split infinitives with the fervour of the Devil himself after souls. “Jay The Pub”, the other friend, is one of those women who has spent a life time dealing with drunken idiot men (and a fair few women I expect, this is Norfolk after all) who oozes common sense and is impossible to ‘phase’ no matter what the Madame de PompaRaccoon throws at her (whom she has known for 3 decades).

    I think I mentioned in my last post that G was building a sun lounge/winter garden for the Landlady? I walked round the back of the house to say ‘hi’ to him this morning and found him working on it. The Raccoon describes it as a ‘sun lounge’. It isn’t. It is a fucking half-a-cottage-again sized bloody extension. I watched him ‘try’ a board into it’s allotted place to see if it would fit EXACTLY. You don’t get craftsmanship like that much anywhere these ‘close enough for government work’ days, in these days of ‘oh whack some mastic in’ . He is building that extension with all the love of a medieval master stone mason building a cathedral, a palace for his Princess.

  26. I have just listened to this podcast. It should be required listening for anyone who has been caught up in the madness of the past few months. 

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p05032dr

    Please, please, listen to it. Whistleblowing in the finest tradition and I take my hat off to the man. Someone put the link on Twitter and get it round as many people as possible. I can’t, I no longer have a twitter feed. 

    It is so unfair being marooned in this bed when so much is happening, but I am doing my best, to a) stay alive and b) to stop the madness, and I couldn’t do it without the sturdy support of so many, not least blocked dwarf who I would marry if he wasn’t already married to the bestes frau, and I wasn’t already married to the greatest man who ever walked this earth. Mr G really is a man and a half. 

    I’ll send BD a pic, see if he can put it up and show you how much effort is being made to keep me going. I’ve just got to supply the bloody mindedness, contrariness, awkward, cussed, dogged, pig headiness that I am known for and which is standing me in good stead right now. 

    Anna 

     

     

     

     

    • Hi Anna, 

      just listened to it, you would think they would have learned from the insanity of the eighties. I had read something about that report and hoped it would maybe bring this nonsense to an end, I suppose it it easier ‘chasing’ dead VIPs than catching criminals! Yet still the take the clearly nonsensical stories, helped by so called therapists, seriously. Having been a bit involved in the 80s fiasco as you know, I just don’t believe any of it now.

      Glad you are doing ok, keep setting and passing targets, your sun lounge sounds beautiful and sure you will enjoy it all summer and beyond.

      Carol xx

       

       

       

       

       

    • Thanks for the insight (however cryptic), T.B.D.  Bearing in mind the old saw about its being better to keep one’s mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and to leave no room for doubt, I shall at least take the trouble to read the material before committing pen (or toner) to paper!

      As to what I assume the subject matter, Anna:  although his diction is somewhat incomplete, Mr. Hoskins presumably complains of being accused of questioning the credibility of witnesses.  Well, yes:  if, having been asked look in to a case, he found the witnesses’ evidence incredible (or even dubious), that’s exactly what he ought to have done!

      I happened to catch this item on Lord Hall-Hall’s Toady programme this morning and inevitably thought straightway of Anna.  I just listened to it again and have tweeted it i.a.w. the C.O.’s request.

      ΠΞ

      https://twitter.com/PXanthippou/status/852906419753975813

      • I would have listened to it but I don’t have a TV Licence and of course would never consider ILLEGALLY using BBC i-player, heaven forfend!

        On a similar note if anyone out there has a Sunday Times online subscription please feel free to email me “jacquesketch” at google’s creature dotty com…edy.

        • T.B.D., it’s an audio clip — the pictures on the Toady programme are rarely any good, except for those of Mish‘al, of course (if only she could pronounce ‘contribute’ and ‘distribute’ properly!) — so you don’t need a television licence.

          ΠΞ

    • Your wish, O Furry One, is my command! Here, for all her fans, is Madame Bloody Pomparaccoon GLARING at those minions who dare to keep her from her keyboard! (Actually it’s her team of NHS carers/health care professionals giving her claws a trim I think):

  27. Gad, how I hate the tumor in my neck – makes me look like elephant woman! Never mind, that’s another fine day I’ve got through. Still bloody here. Pain in the neck I am, but only two more days to Sunday – then they’ll see what I’m made of. 

    Another fifteen minutes and they’ll chuck the antimacassar over me cage, and I shall sleep until Mr G wakes me in the morning. He’s only gone and bought a baby monitor so he can hear me breathing all night. Obsessive I call it, but he really is a man in a million. Tomorrow I hope to be able to send Grandpa photos of the new cage he’s built for me, next Wednesday the Thatcher arrives to put the finishing touches to it – six weeks flat he’s built it in, stood outside in the snow laying blocks he did. I really am an extraordinarily lucky woman.

    Night all. 

    Anna 

    • Thanks again, T.B.D.  Although I’d bought the printed edition by the time I saw your post, the article was far easier to read — and the picture of the landlady much clearer — in your p.d.f. file.

      ΠΞ

  29. I bought the printed edition too, it took me a while to find the article. It’s a shame, given the importance of the subject, that it was not given more prominence. I generally agree with it, I know accidents happen but in cases of sheer negligence there would have to be some retribution? though not necessarily financial unless it involved  long term as a result of damage. Perhaps the doctor rather than the NHS should be sued, I am sure they are all expensively insured. Good luck to Anna with her latest venture.

    carol x

     

    • Listening to the parents of those babies who died at the hands of Shrewsbury NHS, I was struck that the only ‘retribution’ or ‘compensation’ that the parents wanted , the only thing that would have meant something to them in their loss, was the knowledge that ‘it will NEVER happen to another parent’. And if that means heads rolling and nurses sacked and de-nursed or doctors struck off , fair enough but AR isn’t suggesting that there should be no retribution, they, the victims, would still get the full investigation, just no money because no sum of money can ever bring back their child or heal the damage done.

  30. I agree with that but given the way the medical profession closes ranks it is very hard to get an apology which, with a thorough investigation, would satisfy most people and hopefully ensure it wouldn’t happen again. However look at the way whistleblowers are treated, it makes it hard to know when terrible things are happening. Maybe if more negligent doctors and nurses were struck off there would be less of it. Yet I remember the cases in Liverpool I think of compensation being paid for tissue and other samples taken from long dead babies without consent. I never understood that or what difference the compensation made. I suppose like everything else it’s lawyers who are pushing for compensation for everything these days. 

    • medical profession closes ranks it is very hard to get an apology

      …and if you think it’s bad here then in Germany it is even worse. In Germany Doctors are referred to as ‘demi gods in white’ & there is a famous joking truism that “a nurse who eats just one of a patient’s chocolates will be struck off, a doctor would need to kill and eat the same patient to be struck off” .After we discovered that Crippled Son was crippled, someone from our medical insurers came round to see if we’d like to push a claim for compensation due to mistakes made during the C-Section or during the ambulance ride to the special premature baby unit or whatever. Bear in mind medical Insurers have a vested interest in suing and aren’t at all adverse to it. However the legal adviser from our insurers told us the following; “yes you could sue, but no doctor will ever ‘peck out the eyes of another crow’ (note: German saying ‘no crow pecks out the eyes of another crow’), they risk being struck off themselves if they do and it is about the only thing a doctor can be struck off for. So your only hope will be if a nurse or midwife testifies for you and any nurse who gives evidence against a doctor or her employer will N E V E R work again. Fact! “

      AR pointed out to me the other day when she first floated the idea to me (God knows why she values my opinion, I know next-to-fuck-all about medical negligence law ) that even if we had have gotten ££££ in compensation for Crippled Son, it would have made no real difference to his life thereafter. The German Medical System provided everything , and more,free he could ever have needed and now when he lives in England the NHS/DWP do likewise. They pay for a comfortable adapted flat with on site care /independent living. They pay all his needs and some of his wants. They pay for Carers and PAs. They even pay for luxuries like holidays, flying lessons and firearms training  (although he’ll have to jet over to Serbia to fire actual guns cos of the UK’s gun laws, but hell, that’s a hardship when just the smokes he brings back for his dear old dad will pay for the flight and then there is all the Club Belgrade 13-60  booze and sex….AND he gets to shoot tech 9s & Glocks…what more could any young man want?!?).

       

  31. I remember when I lived in Germany the reverence with which anyone with the title Dr. was treated, and not just medical Drs. I see the point you are making but going by some of the stories not everyone gets the excellent service your son has. It’s a difficult one and somehow although I largely agree, the compensation culture seems deeply embedded here and I don’t see Anna’s common sense solution cutting through.

     

     

    • <em> the reverence with which anyone with the title Dr. was treated, and not just medical Drs </em>

      Indeed, I can well recall being introduced to a “Herr Professor Doktor Doktor Oberstudienrat Schmidt” and if Dr.Schmidt was old fashioned then his wife would also have carried his titles in formal introduction too so  “Honoured (or ‘Merciful’ depending) Frau Professor Doktor Doktor Schmidt.”. Chances are the good Doctor would have come from a noble line so there’d be a ‘von’ and a ‘zu’ in there somewhere too….

  32. Anna’s interview (rather good I thought) on BBC Radio  5 Live this morning, just before May decided it would cheer us all up to throw a General Election, can be downloaded here:

    Landlady.mp3

    I apologise for the slightly rough tone quality. If anyone wants to do better please feel free. [GD please do your magic and relink etc]

    •  

      It was a good interview. I would like to have heard responses. Anna was excellent as always but it is hard to explain about fault though.

       

      • I think the whole programme is on iplayer now so you could hear the responses there. However I’m pretty sure May announcing the general election killed off the replies.

  33. Thanks, I will listen to it, I think there was a discussion on the subject preceding Anna’s interview.

  34. It’s a little ironic to have the P.I. industry licking its lips over the prospect of thousands of NHS-cash dispensing vaginas as The Landlady launches her noble campaign; the usual suspects (Slater & Gordon, Leigh Day, etc.) plus a long list of others are all tumescing at the thought of another bottomless pit of taxpayers’ money…

     

    It would seem that the NHS beavered away “every minute of every waking day” with its wicked and deliberate plan to inflict pain & misery on thousands, “hiding in plain sight of everyone with a speculum to hand”. 

     

    http://www.bbc.com/news/health-39567240

     

     

  36. I tried to make a donation but they only seem to accept payments by Paypal. Having been hacked once I do not want to  set up another account but can’t see a way to pay using my credit card! Maybe I am missing something, any suggestions?

    • No sorry, but if you want to email me jacquesketch AT gmail then I’ll donate via my paypal on your behalf and you can send me a cheque, if that helps?

  37. Ok will try and email you thanks. I have made a few donations but never one that only allowed you to pay by PayPal and not by credit or debit card, strange. Carol 

     

  39. An urgent appeal to whoever registered annaraccoon.co.uk [and presumably set up the site], or if anyone knows who that person is.

    Could you please get get in touch with either myself or Anna Raccoon?

    You won’t regret it!

    A.S.A.P.

     

  40. NEWSFLASH: The Raccoon Arms is open once again! annaraccoon.blog or use the old ‘.com’ address and it should take you there.

  42. Anna, Pleased to know that you are still around. When you were active, I read your blog often on the advice of Mustache Steve, my younger brother, and we often discussed your writing. So many great thoughts always delivered with some style. Every best wish from Rye New York.   James

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