It was a simple bump.
Actually it was less of a bump and more of a gentle scrape against a somewhat overgrowing hedge – a gentle brush with some leaves as I reversed in my gate.
It was enough to fuck up my wing-mirror though.
Some cunt banged my nearside wing-mirror some years ago and it broke off a little plastic rivet which I very cleverly replaced with a screw fixing. The casing has been very slightly loose since then but that didn’t bother me. My little scrape today however suddenly caused the entire guts of the contraption to vomit out leaving them swinging gently in the breeze from their entrails. Fuck!
I set about fixing it, in the sure knowledge that if I left it to Spanner I would get a sharp intake of breath and a dire warning that the whole door would have to be replaced, and seeing as the new door wouldn’t match colour with the rest that I’d have to get the rest of the car replaced too. Mechanics are a fine bunch of people provided they are working on something belonging to someone else.
I soon found the usual problem – everything is so damned streamlined that there are no screws on the outside. Everything has to be assembled on the inside which is fuck all use as I’m on the outside. They must have gangs of flea sized midgets to assemble the damned things in the factory.
First of all my screw fixing had come loose so I had to fix that, [DIY tip – bamboo cane makes an excellent washer as you can cut it to the right thickness.] Then I had to clip the mirror back onto its mounting which is all inside the fucking yoke where I can’t reach. All it was was a simple plastic pimple that had to slot behind another piece of plastic to lock in place. It wouldn’t fucking do it though. I tried filing the pimple a bit. I tried greasing it with washing up liquid [DIY tip – washing up liquid is brilliant as a lubricant]. I was at it for well over an hour.
In the end, I gave up. I knew it was going to cost an arm and a leg but I would just have to suffer that.
In my frustration, I kicked the mirror.
It clicked into place.
It’s rock solid now and working perfectly.
You can’t beat a good kick in the right spot.