Get out of jail free — 23 Comments

  1. Ha!  If I were you I’d write to my gubermint representative in the strongest terms to complain about whichever dept wasted the postage on your letter through lack of research and therefore incompetance and demand the individual responsible (if you can actually find someone to take responsibility mind!) is put in the stocks for a week as an example.  

    • Give the person a trial by jury [on condition that I’m on that jury].  What’s the betting I’ll get more demands in the years to come?

  2. Ah Grandad, but wouldn’t you love to serve personally on a jury in Wicklow hearing a case where somebody with technical skills is accused of trying to grow tobacco illegally in Avoca valley?

  3. Your reaction is the same as mine. Why can’t they ask nicely, good manners cost nothing. I don’t have your get-out clause… yet. But well spotted!

  4. Crippled Son got called to Jury Service recently (and i made sure i explained to him at length and in words of one silly-ball or less that he was NOT to Tweet/Fecesbook or even talk about anything during the trial). A case involving a follower of the Religion Of Peace, more i won’t say. This is Crippled Son who has a large, visible, barbed wire Star of David tattooed on his hand. I have a feeling the Defence Lawyer might have been a bit inexperienced….. 

    (no we’re not Jewish ‘alveady’ -as me Ol’ Dad would say- but Crippled Son is heavily into that Israeli martial art, he’s even off to train with automatic weapons in Serbia if they can adapt the firing range for his wheelchair…apparently the spastic segment of the weapons training market is still in it’s infancy. Surely a market opportunity for a canny investor? )

  5. You could always turn up, and if you get to voir dire, indicate (though, I believe, not outright state) that you are aware about Jury Nullification – that would probably disclude you from both your current predicament, and may possibly remove yourself from further invitations to the circus.

    Of course, if you’ve read up on Jury Nullification, and proceed to carry on and not state it, with a view to enacting it should the occasion present itself to do so, you could find yourself up for perjury..

    Fun and games in the legal system 🙂

  6. So they know your name and address, that you are on the electoral roll register and that you are eligible by dint of nationality, lack of criminal record and not being known as a terrorist (and probably lots more besides), but they don’t know how fucking old you are?

    Words fail me…

  7. I had an invitation onto a jury once, never got back to me, my late Dad did serve on one, and to his dying day never told any of us what it was about. One week my boss was gone for a while, he had been serving on a jury, and fully regaled everyone within earshot it was for an armed robbery case.

    I wish I had grassed the cunt up to the PF office back then…

      • That poses me an interesting conundrum. Assuming i ever renounced all my principles and  went on the Electoral Role. I have a record in Germany but not in the UK….and i know from past experience I can’t produce any proof of said record because, shockingly for the Germans, the court has lost all my files…in both surnames….oops. 




  8. I’ve always wanted to be on a jury

    ah but that’s only because you fancy Louis Walsh or Sharon Osbourne. 😛

      • It’s what comes of living among the sheep shaggers and sister-worriers of Norfolk . You know you’ve lived north of Norwich too long when Sharon Osbourne starts to look attractive simply because she’s female …..and human…i think.


        • Jayzus but if I was stuck on a desert island with LW, SO and a goat, I would think that billy would be highly attractive.

          • If I was stuck on a desert island, I think I would just eat all three. It’s about survival, you know

            • [quote] I think I would just eat all three [/quote]

              Now there’s a mental image that will require mind bleach, even after a decade in Norfolk!

              That said, I’m about to sit down and try writing a short Easter story for Leggy…set in the deep dark pine forests of very rural Germany…very very rural.

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