What the fuck is this obsession with cancer?
There are a million ways to die and, sad to say we will all succumb to one of them sooner or later.
But the one we mustn’t die from under any circumstances is apparently cancer. To listen to them, you would swear it is the only cause of death and anything that poses the slightest possibility of a potentially remote risk must be banned.
My understanding of cancer is possibly a bit simplistic, but I see it being caused by a faulty replication thing. The cells in our bodies are constantly being replaced and the new cells get their programming information from the old cells. It’s a bit like copying a computer programme onto new floppy disks every year or so – sooner or later an error will occur in the copying process and that error will in turn will become part of the programme which is then copied to the next disk. As the years roll by, those errors accumulate and sooner or later the programme will crash. In other words, the longer we live, the greater chances of something going wrong.
But the lunatics in their laboratories are obsessed by the subject. Everything it seems has to be tested in case there is a billion to one chance it may cause cancer. Their latest target of course is the humble slice of toast. Apparently mice suffered some minimal reaction or other, so toast is now, well… toast.
To go back to my analogy, what they did was take a little bit of code that looked a bit like a bit of the original programme, stuck it on a floppy disk and then put it through a food blender. When the computer crashes after this little “experiment” they proclaim they have found another cause for cancer.
Why can’t these researchers do something useful? I’m sure there are many diseases and viruses out there they could be concentrating on? Why aren’t they out researching types of water that won’t drown us? Why aren’t they inventing harmless weapons? Why aren’t they researching where all those fucking odd socks go to?
I may play it safe though.
You can’t be too careful?
From now on I’m going to boil my bread instead of toasting it.