I came across a little piece the other day over at The Foggy Mirror.

Apparently pubic toilets should be renamed.

Now this isn’t some gesture to remove the confusion between Toilets, Lavatories, “Restrooms” [I could never understand that one – who the fuck wants a “rest” in there?], the Jax or one of the many monikers applied to what an architect would call a WC.  No, this is down to providing non-gender specific names for specific genders.

What the fuck?

I have touched on this strange topic before.  This topic that there used to be just two genders, but now there is apparently more genders than you can shake a penis at.  We now have males and females.  We also have males who want to be females and females who want to be males.  We have the really confused ones who don’t know what the fuck they are or even think they are neither.  There are those who swap over to the other side on weekends only and those who have gone under the surgeon’s knife.  There are those who think that by dressing as the other sex they become the other sex and those who just do it for the laugh.  And there are those who decide in the morning which gender they are going to be for the rest of the day.  All in all it is not only confusing but is becoming more than a bit of a bore.

Of course in these days of Political Correctness we have to pander to these poor little cheesecakes and we have to recognise every variety and flavour of gender they dream up.  Hence the problem with toilets.

Of course these delicate people can’t cope with the simple concept of Male and Female.  They feel slighted, neglected and persecuted because we “don’t understand” or some such bollox.  What we need [apparently] is toilet signage which is somehow non-gender specific while catering for the vast majority who are simply male or female.

This isn’t as easy as you might think.

Let’s start off with two toilets – Number Ones and Number Twos.  I think that’s a good start?  But then there are those who wish to stand and those who wish to sit within the Number Ones category.  So maybe there should be three doors – Number Ones Standing, Number Ones Sitting and Number Twos.  I am assuming there aren’t many within a Number Twos Standing category but you never know these days?  Of course Number Ones Sitting could be combined with Number Twos as the facilities are similar so we are back to just two doors again [and maybe one for wheelchairs – they at least are genuine].

There is of course another alternative.

Stick with what we have: Ladies and Gents, and a third door marked Others.

The third door naturally leads outside to a field.

Let them pick their own bramble bush or bed of nettles.