The Grammar Police — 10 Comments

  1. As the schizophrenic drinker once declared – I’d prefer to have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy. An empty bottle of vodka is a Freudian expression of 100% optimism –  it beats by 50% the ‘half glass empty/half glass full’ state of optimism often judged when pub customers drink pints. The subeditors at Independent newspapers seem to have overlooked a significant mathematical variable. The Gardai are right to be searching for a driver who crashed his car on a public road and failed to report the accident. Insurance companies require police accident reports when considering claims. Grammarians only require grammatical punctiliousness and/or pedantry.

    • Ah, but who emptied the bottle? Therein lies the question. And, importantly, where is the vodka now?

      Dunno about Ireland, but a single vehicle accident this side of the Irish Sea that doesn’t involve casualties is of no interest to plod. Indeed, as I discovered, a multi-vehicle incident where there were no casualties was of no interest to them either.

      Although insurance companies want to be informed of incidents regardless of whether or not a claim is made – who does? Given that they will merely use it as an excuse for more banditry come renewal time.

      • So maybe they’re hunting for a vodka thief?  I must say if I discovered an empty whiskey bottle, or even an empty bottle of whiskey I would be pretty cheesed off and would demand  a manhunt to find the culprit.


  2. Hi GD,

    100% with you on this .

    It’s always struck me as strange that when your average Joe Public makes the news.(Perhaps as the result of an accident or a run in with law enforcement).He is often described as an unemployed carpenter/mechanic/shopworker.

    Never could understand the reason for this,if he is unemployed what purpose or logic is fulfilled by adding information about his previous employment.


  3. Well, if the absent driver is indeed the consumer of the contents of said vodka bottle, he was probably very wise to absent himself. If he can evade apprehension until the alcohol has cleared his system, then he can make up any cock and bull story (like the piss bottle, for instance) and there will be no evidence to convict him. He may get a slap on the wrist for leaving the scene of an accident, but he can claim concussion or something. Mind you, if the bottle has one of those silly plastic inserts in the neck, the piss bottle excuse won’t wash.

    Off topic, but your site is still behaving itself, GD. I haven’t had a problem at all for the last couple of days.

    • I don’t know how many of our Boys in Blue are involved here but it’s a gigantic waste of time and money.  As you say – the driver will have sobered up long ago, the bottle could have been there for ages and the only “law” involved is failure to report an accident.  The only people who have suffered anything are the car owner [who presumably knows damn well who was driving] and the owners of the wall who can legitimately claim off the car owner’s insurance.

      Delighted about the site!  Just goes to show – if it ain’t broke, fix it.

      • Ah ha: “can legitimately claim off the car owner’s insurance”. No he can’t, as I pointed out above. Insurance companies insist on police accident reports and yer man didn’t report. So he only injured somebody’s garden wall, eh? Good walls make good neighbours. Broken walls can lead to broken noses. The cops are gonna be interested any which way.

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