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The Slaughter of the Innocents — 18 Comments

  1. And when the person has died while committing a criminal act and he never achieved anything in his short life, he’s an aspiring rapper or footballer. He would never have made a career of rapping or kicking a ball, but there’s nothing else to say about him because he was a scrote. Can’t say that though

    • Deeply despised amongst his neighbours”  It would be interesting if they wrote the bland truth?

  2. What always annoys me in the UK is that the value of someone’s house is always mentioned! Can’t imagine why it is relevant at all.

    • Of course it’s relevant.  If their house is much more expensive than yours then they are obviously upper class twits and the world is better of.  If it’s cheaper they are then working class layabouts and the world is better off.  It also advertises a potential house for sale?

  3. I can only comment with a journalism question:-

    How would the cliche-ridden journos report a snatch-and-run robbery of a cantankerous, pipe-smoking, Grandad and he out walking a pet dog called Penny on the outskirts of a Wicklow village following the New Year festivities in the Year of Our Lord 2027?

      • But what exactly will have been snatched? (future pluperfect tense)

        The pipe, the Zippo, the dog, the walking stick, Herself? Not surely Himself!

  4. The opposite of “innocent” is that “he was known to Gardai”-  which would apply to me if I was shot

    • I’m well known to several gardai, some of whom I would almost class as friends.  Does that count?

  5. And the poor innocent yoofs in the USA whose relatives always lament that they “didn’t deserve to be shot” and that they were “turning their lives around” accompanied by a photo of the perp at the age of five, dressed for Sunday School.

    • “Came from a poor background and was addicted to drugs”  Poor lamb!  No wonder he felt obliged to enter a life of crime?

  6. Being a bit pedantic here, but notwithstanding a mechanical defect cars themselves do not go out of control. Why newspapers can’t just say ‘the stupid fucking driver approached the bend too fast and as a result smashed up a nice bit of machinery whilst decapitating himself’ is beyond me! 🙂

    • Or speed?  They say that speed kills, but fail to mention that it’s a crap driver exceeding his [or her] capabilities?

  7. grandad please excuse change of subject,is it ethical to accidently empty cup of hot  coffee over laptop then inform my first wife it cannot be repaired and i must buy a new one to read grandads daily musings .PS it worked the lie that is

    • Welcome Eamonn!  Of course it is ethical and is a technique I have successfully used myself on a couple of occasions.  In fact there is a distinct possibility that I may accidentally spill a can of Coke over my keyboard in the near future.  I don’t drink the stuff and will have to buy a can for the purpose, but it makes a vary convincing sticky mess of the keys.  But accidents do happen…….

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