Comments

Experts in bullshit — 14 Comments

  1. I am reminded of Blaster Bate (a demolition expert), who defined an expert thus; “ex denoting something that has been, and spurt, meaning a drip under pressure”. I can think of no better definition!

    • Welcome Geoff!  I couldn’t agree more, though I would trust Blaster to know somewhat more about explosives than I.  If he said run, I think I probably would without question…..

    • X= unknown quantity in mathematics.

      SPURT= drip under pressure.

      Expert = unknown drip under pressure.

      (Mic drop)

  2. You’re a wise old bird, Grandad, but you’ve rarely wrote truer words than your penultimate sentence.

    ‘Experts believe…’ ‘Studies suggest…’ ‘Scientists say…’ Seems they all mean the same thing – the grant money’s running out.

    Completely OT. I see you blokes in the Republic have Post Codes now. News to me, ‘cos when I sent a parcel to West Cork last week they didn’t have one. I remember teasing our local Postmaster about it, him being from Wexford. ‘Ah, sure,’ he said. ‘We don’t need them in Ireland; everybody knows everybody else!’

    (Collapse of stout party.)

    • We do indeed have postcodes at the cost of God knows how many millions.  They are so illogical as to be virtually useless [my adjacent postcode is five miles away] and I don’t know of anyone who uses them.  As far as I am aware, our postal system doesn’t even have a method to track them, and I know our postman has no time for them at all.

  3. Pingback: In the News November 29th | vapers.org.uk

  4. Pingback: In the News November 29th | Convicted Vapour

  5. Economics expert: somebody who can analyse and explain the problems of the economy and predict future prospects, but wouldn’t know how to set up and run a henhouse.

    Child psychologists: people who can explain what’s going on inside children’s heads and their emotional bonds with parents, but would quickly turn into nervous wrecks if they were probationary teachers assigned to a classroom of 35 wild ghetto twelve-year-olds.

  6. We have research which shows that 99 per cent of Grandads completely disagree with your opinion, so there!

  7. I was always told that an expert was someone who came from far away at great expense – the greater the fee, the more expert the person was

  8. Now I’m no expert in anything with the possible exception of poking holes in the ocean with a nuclear powered submarine and that kind of expert-ness pretty much doesn’t apply in modern society–such as it is.

    However, there’s supposedly a new-ish M.A. (Master of Arts degree one can go for called “Climate and Society” that takes all of 1 to 2 years to complete depending on where the student  attends the classes. 1 to 2 years to attain a masters degree in climate and the effects on society? I suppose that would make the graduates think  they’re actually makes them experts on the subject? Really?

    Whatever. All I know is that I’ve never heard of anyone achieving a masters degree in A.S.S (Anti Smoking Assessment)

  9. I am reminded of the definition of management consultant…

    Somebody who knows how to do it, can tell you when its wrong, but can’t do it himself!

Hosted by Curratech Blog Hosting
Gravityscan Badge