There are quite a few things in life that puzzle me.
Of course there are the old standards, like where all the odd socks go and how do wire coat hangers breed, but there are quite a few other questions that have me quite frankly mystified.
Lately the sun has been swivelling across the sky at a somewhat lower angle, it being autumn, and this highlights all the cobwebs on the window ledge. Well, actually they are hanging between plants, covering the corners of the window panes and there is even one neatly connecting the aerials on my little wifi router. There is a stuffed reindeer that one of the grandkids left here and he has a grand collection all over his head.
Where the fuck do they all come from?
They annoyed me so much the other day that I cleaned them all away. Every single one. They’re all back happily festooning the place and glistening in the sunlight.
The garage ceiling is an area I can understand. That has those marvellous black yokes hanging from the ceiling like something out of a horror film, that look so heavy you’d wonder why they don’t break. They are caused by spiders who live there in their hundreds, and good luck to them. They stop Herself going out there which means I can hide all sorts of stuff in the sure knowledge that it’s safe from prying eyes.
But the living area is another matter. I see a spider in here maybe once or twice a fortnight. Each spider has its own little place in my memory as Herself tends to have a fit of the Shrieking Hystericals when she sees one, so I tend to remember the occasion with fondness.
Judging by the quantity and density of the cobwebs, a hell of a lot of effort has gone into their creation which must take a long time too. So where are the fucking spiders? I have never seen one making a cobweb. Never. They must wait until I’m in bed whereupon they mysteriously materialise out of nowhere, frantically do their stuff and then beam themselves back up to some planet or other where they live during daylight hours?
Why do they do it? Spiders webs are for catching food, but cobwebs never catch anything except dust. Even if something did get trapped, there’s no spider around to relish the feast, so it all seems rather pointless. Do they do it just to decorate the place? Some are quite impressive and can span across the ceiling for some distance, while others are intricate little patterns that just glisten in the sunlight.
Or do they make them just to annoy me?