Ashes for ASH — 19 Comments

  1. Just received this image from Daryl

    Marlboro coffin

    In his words – This pic is from a funeral in Australia a few years ago. The bloke was cremated, he stipulated that his coffin had to be a Marlboro pack so that he could light-up one last time. Way to go!

    In my words – Priceless!

    • Free publicity for the cigarette company too. Wherever they bury me, I hope to push up some seasonal daisies, organically grown.

  2. I had a good laugh over this post. Who cares what happens after we bite the dust. I’ve asked my husband what he wants me to do with his ashes and he always says ‘surprise me”. As for me, I don’t care but I’m hoping he doesn’t flush me down the toilet.

    • This is what comes from living a life that is so totally divorced [sorry,Pope – separated any better?] from reality. 

      Is there anyone on the planet who is going to worry about their funeral after they’re dead?  Before, maybe, but not after.

    • We live in rural Spain and our toilets empty into the river, so I told my wife (old school Spanish RC God botherer) to flush me and save the trouble of getting the boat out.


      • Welcome Timbotoo!  I would hope you have a separate water supply [else a case of getting your own back?]  Indeed – after we choke, are we boing to be bothered with what happens next?  I’m not!

  3. Your quip about sticking it up his basilica was nearly a TOK moment!  (Tea Over Keyboard)  You’ve got to hand it to the backroom boys engaged by Pope Useless the Umpteenth on a new fund-raising scheme at the said basilica though.

     Father 1 ”  How can we fleece the flock further?”

     Father 2  “Aha! Lets  tell them they can’t have Grandma’s final resting place in an urn on top of the mantelpiece or scatter her ashes will-nilly round her favourite haunts anymore!  We’ll send out some  a papal Bullshit telling them they must either put her urn in, or or scatter her ashes on , sacred ground!  *evil laughter and wringing of hands*

    Father 1 “How will that make us money?”

    Father 2  “The only sacred ground is in and around the church precincts  so we’ll have to charge them for the privilege – ta-da! A nice little Urn-er”

    But they would’nt think like that would they?  They’d only have our best interests in mind. They already lay claim to our souls so they might as well have the rest!

    • Funny you should say that.  I mentioned the Pope’s little edict to Herself [she hadn’t heard about it before].  Her instant response?  “Just another money making scam”!

  4. I’m a practicing Catholic and I don’t feel that I have to accept everything that communist south american pig edicts.  The body is a shell and my soul will go off to wherever it’s going after I’m dead.  My body on the other hand is going to Penn State’s medical school to be used as they see fit.  They get to study my remains for two years then cremate me and give the ashes back to my family.

  5. The problem with being buried is that you are likely to be dug up again. I knew a place in the North where for every one they put down in the churchyard, they used to dig up two or three (they used to put the bones into fertiliser bags and tip them back into the grave on top of the coffin after all the mourners had gone home – some people were probably dug up two or three times).

    On the other hand, being buried in an urn is no guarantee you will be left in peace. An archaeologist friend was excavating an ancient island site and discovered surreptitiously buried ashes which he believed to be from the Continent – the bones had not been ground to dust. He had intended to re-bury them, but they were placed with the equipment. On the boat back, a colleague pointed to the urn, so they decided to tip it over the side. The seagulls believed the bony bits to be edible and kept swooping for them. Not a desirable end!

    • Fair play to him!  I like the idea of just boring a hole and plugging it in [a sort of standing room only arrangement].  I’m quite happy if I go in a cardboard box!

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