I have a small problem.
I realised during the week that there was a major omission in my life.
I had never had a Mid Life Crisis!
I am led to believe that a MLC is one of the essentials in life on the way to seniority and ultimately old age. In my younger days I used to look forward to entering that phase of buying motor bikes, growing my hair even longer, wearing gold medallions and having limitless affairs, but when the time came I seem to have forgotten about it.
So I am wondering if there is some kind of statute of limitations on MLCs? Could I still have one if I try hard enough?
I know a MLC is supposed to be a vain and fruitless attempt to recapture past youth, so is there a Late Life Crisis where I can attempt to capture my Mid Life years? This could work quite well, as during my recaptured Mid Life I could then have a Mid Life Crisis [being an essential ingredient of Mid Life], to bring me back even further.
I could do the motor bike thing. I quite fancy one of those yokes with tyres that look like they're off a lorry, or even a three wheeler with Easy Rider handlebars. I'm getting a bit long in the tooth for chasing dolly birds though, as these days I find that when I catch them, I'm a little out of breath. Young women seem to run a lot faster these days.
But then is it worth it? During my Mid Life I was stuck with a mortgage and a job that was passable but which I wouldn't want to repeat. And then there was all the hassle of a teenage daughter driving me insane with incessant tantrums, and all the other glories that come with teenagehood. I wouldn't want to repeat any of those. I would miss the Interweb too.
So maybe I'm just better off forgetting about the whole business? Chalk it up to an unfortunate lapse in the path through life? Remember to have it next time when I am reincarnated into my next life?
I'm storing up quite a few things to do in my next life.
I'm quite looking forward to it