In my day there were the Mods and Rockers, the Teddy Boys, the Beatles look and the Hippies.
I never went for any of them. If you're trying to rebel against society by dressing differently then there is no point in dressing the same as all the rebels. I always had my own look and style, variously described as Scruffy, Unkempt and Would-you-ever-go-and-get-your-fucking-hair-cut. If anything, I was a Hippy before Hippies were invented [and as soon as they were, I stopped].
Now there is this weird phenomenon known as the "Hipster".
I have heard this term bandied about and assumed it was something to do with the strange rash of false looking beards that are becoming prolific. There is something about those beards, that they all looked like they have been photoshopped on or bought in a theatrical costume shop.
I had a look around this morning and found a web site that gives instructions on how to be a Hipster.
Fucking hell! Do people really have to have instructions on how to dress and behave? Whatever happened to personal taste and individuality? But then I suppose in a world where the lowing herd have to be told how to do everything I suppose it's only to be expected that there are instructions on how to look and behave?
Funnily enough, I can identify with quite a few of the supposed attributes of a Hipster. I have a beard, but it looks real [which I suppose is a mark against me?] and my hair is usually unkempt. I do have a contempt for smoking laws and rules. I do tend to give the odd smart arsed answer if asked a silly question. I do wear jeans and spectacles, though the latter are rimless to keep them light and to stop them sliding down my nose all the time. I do grow my own produce but not of the fruit or vegetables varieties. I do use WordPress though they can fuck off with their Blogspot, Tumblr and Instagram.
The line has to be drawn somewhere though and they can fuck off with their "keep a pulse on the Hipster community" and moving to a metropolitan area like London [though in fairness, they do say that isn’t strictly necessary]. And I'll be damned if I'll be told what films to watch or music to listen to.
So all in all it looks like I am more Hipster than not. But seeing as I have lived like this for as long as I can remember, and certainly decades before Hipsters were invented, I can only assume they are copying me?
But then we have the little rule number 7.
Don't define yourself to others. One of the key elements of being hipster has been to avoid the label. Don't go around proclaiming your allegiance; to do so would be to start allying with those who like neatly tied-up boxes denoting who is what, when, and where.
- The moment you define yourself too clearly is the moment you begin to stagnate and risk being captured by the status quo. Many a hipster will therefore deny their "hipster-ness" whenever possible.
- To preemptively ward off the mockers, some hipsters have taken to extending their sense of irony to include even themselves by acknowledging and mocking their own hipsterdom (for example, wearing a tee that says "I hate hipsters"); that way, by mocking themselves first, no one else can effectively do it (reclaiming the negative).
So I can't say I'm a hipster because then I'm not. And if I say I'm not a Hipster that that's a very Hipster thing to do.
Ah listen lads….
Would yiz ever all go and fuck off.
Hipster my bollix.