The Neverending Story — 12 Comments

  1. Well if you were like us normal folk, with only a postage stamp of a garden (or in my case where I am today, no garden at all, just a roof terrace), then these problems wouldn't occur, GD. However, your baronial mansion with its extensive estate is going to require maintenance.

    I must admit that my last house in the UK was a bit like that, though. It was a 400 year old Cotswold stone house with half an acre of garden, and required constant tending. I had Roman walls under the garden (I discovered when I did some excavating, although I didn't tell anyone in case the historians wanted to dig my lawns up – I was right on Ermin Street, the Roman road to Corinium), and Roman artifacts were abundant in the area. I also had a Yew tree in the garden that one arborist estimated was over a thousand years old. It was certainly huge and imposing. A fantastic place, but constant work.

    I'll stick with my roof terrace now! 🙂

    • Roof terraces are all very well, but where is the dog supposed to shit? 

      My little estate is half wild, but the problem with a wild garden is that it has to be tamed occasionally.  Otherwise I'd start finding people camping on it or dumping rubbish on it [not that they don't do that anyway].  The main reason I cut the hedges in the front is because it was getting difficult to get the car in.

  2. You should switch on the emerging heater so you can have a nice bath after all that work is done

  3. I’m drinking a lot of sparkling spring water these days. In the morning I drink a couple of mugs of tea. Around 8 pm I may go to the local and sip a glass of white wine. When checking weeds in a vegetable patch recently I found a shrunken dead rat being eaten by insects. A friend said it is quite common for cats to leave dead rodents near a house as an ‘offering’. Maybe I should stop feeding a neighbour’s cat that comes around to my kitchen door?

    • At this time of year the garden seems to be infested with dead birds.  Some are just Nature culling the weakest fledglings but some are the work of our local Kestrel who tends to dispatch rather larger ones.  I wish he'd clean up after himself or at least eat in someone else's plot.

  4. Granddad, have you tried agent orange? I have it on good authority that it will sort out your gardening problem in a jiffy. Also gets rid of the cats, unless they mutate…… I think I have a drum in my garage, next to the DDT. I could send you some if you like? Just give me the nod.   

    • That sound great.  The dog can deal with the mutant cats, and is already well practiced in chasing imaginary ones.  For the sake of Customs, just label it as "orange juice".

  5. only part of that gardening for me would be clearing for the broadband, the rest his self looks after 

    • You are more than welcome to drop by and do the job.  Unfortunately the trees involved are in the midst of a huge clump of brambles, bushes, other trees and nettles, but sure it'll be no bother to you.

        • I have made a start.  Spent the best part of an hour hacking through bushes, brambles and hedges to make a thirty foot tunnel just to reach the damned tree!

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