Once upon a time in a land far far away there was a kingdom called Tobacco.

The people of Tobacco were very happy and prosperous and they lived their lives in peace and tranquility.  Their religion was Life, and they devoted themselves to it.

Next to Tobacco there was another kingdom called Pharma.  Their religion was Health which was a very different religion altogether and nothing like Life.  Apart from that, Pharma was very different from Tobacco as the people there were greedy and they envied the prosperity of their neighbours.  They decided they would entice the people of Tobacco to come and live in their land so that they could prosper.  But the people of Tobacco were very happy where they were and refused to move.  Pharma decided to declare war on Tobacco.  Tobacco told Pharma to go fuck themselves.

The Wizards of Pharma then invented their own versions of the things that made the people of Tobacco happy, but their versions didn't work and only a few people moved to Pharma, but the vast majority of the people of Tobacco refused to move, saying that the Wizards' inventions were crap.

The Kings of Pharma weren't happy and they still weren't winning the war so they told the people of Tobacco that they were killing themselves and that they would be much safer in Pharma.  The inhabitants of Tobacco weren't fooled that easily and they still refused to move.  The Kings of Pharma then bribed the Kings of Tobacco to make laws that would make the inhabitants of Tobacco very unhappy.  The Tobacconists [for that is what the people were called] got annoyed at this but they were still too happy in Tobacco to move to the dull and dreary kingdom of Pharma.

One day a boat arrived on the shores of the land from far away across the seas.  The people on that boat created a new kingdom which they called Vape.  They too were a very happy and prosperous but the Kings of Tobacco and Pharma ignored them as they were just a bunch of blow-ins.

Over the years though, the Tobacconists began to move to Vape as they were tired of the Kings of Tobacco and their petty laws as well as all the lies of Pharma. 

Now this made the Kings of Tobacco unhappy, but it made the Kings of Pharma furious.  Pharma had been trying for years to entice the Tobacconists without success and now the lands of Vape were filling up with ex-Tobacconists.  They decided that they would invent new lies [as the previous lies to Tobacco has worked to a minor degree] and would tell the people of Vape that they too were killing themselves.  They decided as well to bribe the Kings of Vape to pass new laws, but unfortunately the people of Vape had no kings, so that didn't work.

All the kingdoms in the land were ruled by an overlord called EU-WHO and up until then had ignored the bickerings between the kingdoms.  The Kings of Pharma appealed to the EU-WHO to help them but the EU-WHO told them to fuck off.  So the kings of Pharma gave the EU-WHO shed loads of money and demanded they do something.

So the EU-WHO were very happy with their new-found wealth and declared that the Vapers where every bit as bad as the Tobacconists and that they should have the same punitive laws imposed upon them and declared that everyone should move to Pharma.  This rightly pissed off the Vapers but there was little they could do about it.  They also declared that the religion of Health was much more important than Life.

To be continued……….