Today is Tuesday, the 2nd day of March.
At least according to my watch it is.
For the last forty years or so I have worn the same watch. Well, actually it's the same make of watch but I have had to replace it a few times. It is very accurate and the reason I like it so much is that it has a little window that tells me the date and month and even what day of the week it is. These things are very important as I never know what day it is unless I'm at my laptop. So a simple glance at the watch will tell the analogue time and a little window says "3 2 TU".
I have tried resetting it but for some reason the teenchy little button isn't having any effect so I'm stuck in a day ahead of the rest of you. I'm a sort of unwitting time traveler.
The strange thing is that the frogs know the date. Back on Valentine's Day the frogs were out en masse doing the romantic thing shagging their brains out in the lake and making quite a noise. They do that every year. Last night they obviously knew it was Leap Day as they were at it again having one almighty [and very noisy] fuck-fest, and I don't remember them ever doing that before. Once a year is usually enough for them.
But last night, presumably the females decided to honour the age old tradition and lure their fellas down to the lake for one massive hump and trap the poor chaps into a loveless future of commitment, paying alimony for a load of tadpoles they didn't particularly want.
So while the frogs obviously know the date, I don't.
I suppose I'll have to buy a new watch. I'm going to try to fix this one but doubtless I'll break something and a new watch will climb to the top of my wish list.
I think I may have to upgrade my specifications a bit though. I now want a watch with an analogue display with a little window telling me the date and the day of the week, but it'll have to tell me the year too, as I am getting a tad more forgetful.
And for all you cunts out there on the Interweb who keep sending me emails offering Rolex watches at knock down prices, none of your junk offerings are good enough.
Maybe I should get an Internet of Things watch?
Nah! Fuck that.