I am the not-so-proud owner of a "smart phone".
I am presuming it's classed as such as it's just a slab of glass and metal and has no numbers to press. It does have the facility to browse the Interweb and do various weird things like act as a torch or a camera, which seems a little pointless as I have several torches and a reasonably good camera anyway.
One of the [many] things that pissed me off about it was that it was incredibly slow and cumbersome. I like to pick up a phone, dial a number and listen for the ring-tone. My yoke however requires a password to get into it and then it would start doing strange and fancy things before I could even reach the keypad to type the number.
I read somewhere that I could download something to make it go faster, so I downloaded it.
Then whenever I even picked up the phone it would flash panicky messages saying its memory was full and I too many things running. I had tell it to clean all the shit out just to shut the fucking thing up. The strange thing is that the next time I tried to use the phone I would have to go through the whole procedure all over again. Where the fuck had all this shit come from? I had everything disabled such as Interweb access and Data Transfer [whatever that is] and Bluetooth so how come it has managed to restart several programmes and fill my thing with crap again? Who restarted those programmes? Why have I suddenly got hundreds of megabytes of crud filling up the yoke?
I tried inserting one of those card things so it could have somewhere to store its junk. but it tells me that the ony things I can store on the card are music and photographs. Fucking useless.
I tried installing another programme to stop other programmes starting. That didn't work because my original programme just complained that the new programme was creating even more shit.
The other day I really got pissed off with the constant alerts and warnings that my death was imminent, and I removed everything, leaving the phone with the bare minimum.
The phone doesn't complain any more. Even better, it's a lot faster. In fact it's so fast I can even answer a call before the other person gets bored and disconnects.
I got a text this morning. My service provider wants to know if I want to "upgrade". For a mere eighty smackers, I can have a brand spanking new phone. Why? Why the blind fuck would I want to shell out eighty notes to buy something that merely does what my existing one does?
When I was a kid, we had a heavy old Bakelite phone out in the hall [we were posh!]. The flex was always tangling and if you dialed a long number your finger got sore from spinning the dial. Over the many years it worked, and worked well.
I don't ever remember the parents getting a message asking if they wanted to upgrade it?