I have a confession to make.
Coming up to December last year I made the quiet little decision to quit writing here. It was time to stop. I had said all I had to say and there was nothing more to it.
Then the end of the year came around, January started and I found I was still brain farting away with no end in sight. You see, I have discovered a problem. The site has become a fucking habit and if I don't write something I start getting edgy. It is really fucking annoying.
So my day starts where I do all the things that are an imperative – making tea and lighting the pipe. Then if there is nothing more important the mind now automatically turns to thinking about what to write. It then becomes an itch, and even worse, an itch in a place where I can't scratch. More often than not something will have happened the previous day, like the Puritan's making some new farcical claim, or the gubmint wasting yet more of my money, and if that fails there is always something in the papers.
But sometimes there isn't. Sometimes there is just the usual shite that crops up every day [there seems to be some law in Ireland that someone has to discover a body somewhere and the police have to treat it as “suspicious”] and there is nothing of interest whatsoever. Then the brain goes into overdrive and I get edgy. It appears that brain farting is seriously addictive?
Sooner or later I suppose the Puritans are going to discover this and force taxes out of me and insist I redesign the site in plain drab colours [even plainer and drabber than the current ones] with lurid medical porn all over it. They will restrict me to just two words per day and remove me completely from Google. Some fucking smart arse will demand that I be licensed and another will insist all my scribbles will have to be censored to their satisfaction. I will have to list all the ingredients I use on the site and I will have to give calorie counts and the amount of sugar I use per paragraph.
But until then I shall continue to slaughter three kittens per page, make sure my servers contribute several tons of CO2 to the atmosphere and that each word contains ten times the maximum level of lard [as recommended by the WHO].
Have fun while it lasts, I say.