Some people breed horses.

Some people breed cattle and pigs.

Some people for some unfathomable reason breed rats.

I breed wheelie bins.

This is not a voluntary thing on my part; it just seems to happen.

Yesterday I had a green one indoors, other bigger green one outdoors and that is kept beside the black bin, which surprisingly is also outdoors.  Now I wasn't aware that the colour signified gender but obviously the [big] green on and the black one have been getting it together because I went out this morning to find a little blue one beside them.

Not being that well up on the subject of the mating habits of wheelie bins I had to investigate.

Now I know the [big] green one is for recycling, but that's free so I fuck nearly everything into that one.

The little green one is supposed to be for glass but I have my own little corner of the [neighbour's] garden where I dump all the empty bottles.  I'm not having some fucking bin-man commenting on my drinking habits.  I use the little green one for storing coal.

The black one is for everything else but that costs per collection, so I don't use it much.

Apparently the new baby blue one is for compost.

Now this is a tricky one as the only way I could collect all the compostable stuff is to collect it in plastic bags, as I ain't going to trot all the way out to the gate just to dump a tea-bag.  But plastic bags aren't compost so I can't put 'em in.  Am I supposed to empty the sludge out of the bag and into the bin?  If so it would soon stink to high heaven so that's not very sensible?

One of the advantages of having a little acreage is that I can have things like compost heaps and general areas for dumping stuff.  I have a place where I dump branches, weeds and shit that is left from gardening.  That dump is nearly big enough to be marked on the Ordnance Survey maps at this stage.  I have an area for glass, another for metal and a compost heap for well.. compost and grass cuttings.  The amount of grass I collect from one cut would fill about ten of the blue wheelie bins so it ain't much use to me anyway.

I haven't decided what to do with it yet.  Maybe it would be handy for storing kindling?  Maybe I'll brew beer in it?  I'm still mulling over that little problem.

But first I have to get the black bin castrated.