Back in my Secondary School days I developed a lifelong passing interest in physics.
I have a general grasp of most concepts though I confess to being a little confused at these newfangled sub-atomic particles [what was wrong with electrons, neutrons and protons?].
One concept that caught me completely by surprise though is the latest discovery to hit the headlines – the phenomenon of the Magnetic Child.
I first got to hear about this strange feat of physics a few months ago when a report came out that smoke from a cigarette will actually blow in through a car window and somehow intensify around the back seat. This strange behaviour flies in the face of my previous misconceptions that smoke would be governed by the Bernoulli Equation.
The Bernoulli Equation states that as the velocity of a fluid or gas increases, so its pressure decreases. While this may seem a trivial bit of nonsense to most, it is after all what keeps those aircraft above us jetting through the sky instead of collapsing in a heap of mess on the ground. It is also used in the carburetor of the petrol engine so we have quite a lot to thank it for.
But this new discovery puts all that science in danger.
A car traveling at any speed will displace air which will have to speed up to get around the surface of the car in time to catch up with itself behind the vehicle. And if you open a window, the pressure inside the car will drop slightly because of the decrease in pressure outside. Have I lost you yet?
I have experimented with this in the past. If Herself lights up a fag in the front seat while we are out for a merry jaunt, I open her window a mere half inch or so, and immediately I can see through the windscreen ahead as all the smoke is instantly sucked out. I don't open the window more than that as I don't want her sucked out too. Not yet anyway.
But somehow [according to the experts], if there is a child in the back seat all that smoke will be blow back in again, thereby defeating Bernoulli and choking the little brat. Not only will it blow back in, but it will be super concentrated presumably as it has mixed with all the exhaust fumes from the car in front.
There can be only one explanation for this paradox of physics – somehow the child must be magnetic? What else could explain this strange behaviour? And somehow this magnetic property ceases instantly when the child reaches 18?
Even more confusing is that this magnetism hasn't been discovered before. How come an aircraft with children on board doesn't plummet to earth? How come a petrol engine will work even if there is a child near? Indeed, how does a child even fly a kite?
None of it makes sense.
Unless of course the experts are wrong?
Nah! It must be something else.