Welcome to the first of my dust-offs. I'm relying on technology to post this, so knowing my luck it will never happen.
I first wrote this back in the very early innocent days of 2006.
Times haven't changed!
You look down on me, then I'll look down on you
I hate snobbery.
I said before that I hate hypocrisy – well, snobbery is up there with it.
I was enjoying my freedom the other night and went for a pint [or five]. I met a bloke there as we stood outside in the rain having a smoke. It turned out he was from a village some distance from here.
"Yiz don't know how lucky yiz are livin' here" says he. "Our place is full of feckin' snobs"
Apparently they built an estate outside his village and called it something snobby like "The Manor". The houses were worth about two hundred thousand at the time, but the builder put them on the market for eight. The poor snobs fell for it. They snapped up the houses because they reckoned the riff-raff would be kept out by the prices.
They now think they own the village and look down on all the locals. And they all drive SUVs and park wherever they feel like. They are worthless to the village because they all shop "In Town" and socialise in the Golf Club.
At Halloween a few years ago they even gave their little brats special bracelets, so they could be identified if they went knocking on doors. If any local kid turned up without a bracelet, the Gardai were called. They were that bad.
To me, all people are equal in status. I might look up to someone I admire, like Stephen Hawking, but that's it. The only people I look down on are those who think they are superior to me by right of birth or wealth. And of course Skangers. But then everyone looks down on them.
My new pal told me about a time he drove down to the village and parked. He was getting out of his car when a big SUV pulled up beside him.
"I was going to park there" said the SUV driver.
"I parked here first"
"But that is my place. I always park there"
"That is my parking spot. I'm from The Manor, you know"
I laughed. "What did you say to that?" says I.
"I told him I was very sorry for his troubles" says my friend.
"And then I told him to fuck off"