Go to Hell — 8 Comments

  1. One far east view of hell is that it is essentially a big dinner party, filled with the most marvelous food imaginable. One catch: you can only use enormously long chopsticks, and as these are too long for you to reach your mouth, you are forever denied the grub.

    Heaven is exactly the same, only there the people are smart enough to cooperate and feed each other.

    Says a lot, really.

    • Good one!  I am assuming that the menu is infinite, always perfectly cooked and always replenished?  Not sure I could take it though – not that big an eater!

  2. One of my favourite stories about the nature of heaven and hell involves a samurai warrior who had been giving the matter a bit of thought of late, not least because he had spent the better part of his life dispatching all sorts of folk to the hereafter and was pondering about the sort of reception he might be in for. He decided to pay a visit to a venerable Taoist monk who was said to be the wisest of men. "Monk", he demanded, "What is Hell and what is Heaven?". The monk looked up from his seated position next to the Pond Of Serenity and said, "What on earth is it to you? Look at you – you stink, your clothes look like they haven't been washed since Buddha was a lad and your breath's like a badger's bum [I translate loosely here]". The warrior became incensed with fury, stepped back, drew his sword and swept it up to bring it down on the monk's head. The monk raised a finger, "That is Hell", he said. The warrior, in a flash of understanding, realised that the monk had been prepared to risk his life to teach the warrior. He dropped his sword and fell to his knees in front of the monk, tears coursing down his cheeks. He apologised for his anger and begged the monk for forgiveness; "And that is Heaven", said the monk.

    Bit bloody risky if you ask me, but one has to admire the simplicity of the tale …

    • Fierce philosophical altogether!

      So Hell is constant insults and Heaven is constant remorse?

      • I am by far the last person to refer to in these matters, Grandad, but I rather fancy that Hell is preoccupation with one's ego (and the constant imagined slights to same) and that Heaven is seeing and reflecting the true nature of an awakened soul. But what the feck do I know? As far as I'm concerned, the the unconditional love of a dogbloke (the very best friend that any man is ever likely to make) is infinitely preferable to the ersatz 'friendship' on offer from the majority of folk today.

    • Brilliant!  I thought it was serious [you never know what the Antis will dream up next] until I came to the "Other new restrictions"!

      What's the betting that will become reality in the very near future?

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