Face to face with a Nanny

As most of you will know, I'm a mild mannered chap.

I'm easy going and generally take life as it's thrown at me without complaint.

There are times though when even my considerable patience is tried to breaking point.

I was down in the village yesterday.  I mentioned to Herself I was going down and she asked if I could get a pack of Nurofen Plus as we had run out and they are handy to have around in case of emergency hangovers and the like.

I tied Penny to the door handle of the pharmacy and entered.

The place was packed.  I don't know why but everyone in the village seemed to be there.  Maybe there has been a local outbreak of Ebola or maybe it's just seasonal hangovers but everyone seemed to be in dire need of medical aid.

I joined the queue.

Next thing there was a tap on my shoulder and I discovered Matty was behind me.  Now Matty is one of those people I avoid like the plague [Ebola or otherwise] because he insists on waffling on about sport.  Apparently he had been to the races and was bursting to give me a blow by blow account of every fucking race.  My patience was beginning to run a bit thin.

Then some kids started messing with Penny outside the door.  I'm wary about Penny mixing with kids as sooner or later teeth are going to come into play and I don't want Penny to be bitten.  So here I was, stuck in a queue with one eye out for queue jumpers and another eye out for Penny's safety and being regaled with stories about fucking horse races.  

By the time I got to the counter my piss was beginning to simmer.  There was a stand-in bloke behind the counter who I had never seen before and he asked what he could do for me.  I asked for a pack of Nurofen.

Sweet sufferin' Jayzus but he started into that Nanny State shit.

I don't know if other countries do this but here it is mandatory for every pharmacist to give a customer the third degree if said customer asks for anything which may contain Codeine.

He asked me who the tablets were for.  I said they were for me as it really was none of his fucking business.

What was I going to use them for?  Killing pain, I replied rather testily as at this stage I was about to blow a gasket.

What other medication was I on?  Fuck but he was really annoying me by now.  I wasn't going to blather on about my medications in front of the entire village and I told him so. 

How many did I intend taking?  I just looked blankly at him.  There is no answer to a fucking stupid question like that.

I know he was just doing his job and technically it wasn't his fault but at this stage I was fully prepared to shoot the messenger.

"Look" I said, "I am a fucking grown man and I know all about Codeine and if I want to pop Nurofen like they were fucking Smarties then that's my fucking business and not yours."

Well, actually I didn't say that.  It's what I nearly said.

What I actually said was that I knew all the shit he wanted to tell me and to just give me the fucking tablets because he was giving me a headache.

Luckily for him one of the regular staff intervened at this stage.

"Hi Grandad!  Nurofen?  No problem.  How many do you want?"

I know these people are only obeying orders but for fuck's sake, can't they recognise a mature adult when they see one?  The grey beard should have been a small hint.  That fact that I was probably old enough to be his grandfather might have been a small clue.

On the way out I retrieved Penny and kicked one of the kids.

It made me feel a bit better.

Sorry, kid.

Blame the Nanny State.

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Face to face with a Nanny — 11 Comments

  1. The questions are a direct consequence of the compensation culture that arrived here from America. If the assistant doesn't ask and they take the tablets along with all the other stuff they are taking and become ill, then an ambulance-chasing lawyer will be looking for their business or they'll "talk to Joe" about it.

    The notion of individual responsibility has virtually disappeared.

    • "The questions are a direct consequence of the compensation culture that arrived here from America."

      I rather doubt that since this kind of "drug store interrogation" seems to have popped up here and over your way about the same time according to my experience. Hell, I don't even get those kind of questions thrown at me when I wish to purchase these "questionable" pain relievers. Besides, us 'mericans' can't get anything with codeine in it without a prescription anyway but there are others…

      And it's not really about some so-called "compensation culture" either since 99% of us folk over here are not being compensated nor have any desire to be. It's more directly related to the "nanny state" (government-related) state of mind which, of course, was more or less generated by the "I'll sue the pants off you for any piddle-ass reason whatsoever if you give me a chance" culture that most likely did end up over there from from America.

  2. Here you cannot buy more than two boxes of 'pain killers' in a single transaction in case you top yourself or someone else, allegedly. You could go to every store on the street or in the area and get two boxes from each but try popping back in and use the same plastic card and the fucking till will tell the drone not to sell them to you…rise of the machines.

    • Here I can only buy one box but could easily do a pharma-crawl if I was desperate [I'm not – too much driving involved].  That's the problem with these daft ideas – they solve nothing but create a load of inconvenience and annoyance.

  3. They do the same here, I just say I am taking nothing else. It is complete nonsense but sadly that's the world we live in. Sometimes I really am glad to be getting old.

    • Don't worry – I lie through my teeth also.  Though next time I'm asked what medications I'm on I'll try a "you first" as a comeback.  See how they like being quizzed.

      • I read this post to my 85 year old mother (with some judicious "editing" you'll understand). She had the same experience trying to buy some plain Ibuprofen capsules, when I took her on a shopping trip last week. She made the mistake of admitting being on other medications, and that was it. The fact that she has, in the past, been prescribed stronger NSAID's was not a sufficient excuse. I went into the local supermarket later and bought some for her instead…

  4. In Ireland you can go into an off-licence and buy two bottles of whiskey, no questions asked if you look over 18. But if you were to say you drink hot whiskeys on dark winter nights "for medicinal purposes" (I've done just that for many years) would there be nanny questions asked?

    • PS here is the recipe for persons unaware of the medicinal properties of whiskey. Double shot of whiskey + three or four cloves + slice of lemon or a squirt of lemon/lime juice + granules of brown sugar or cane sugar crystals + freshly boiled water. Stir and sip. Then have another. Some eccentrics substitute a double measure of VSOP brandy, but Napoleon would have regarded that as uncultured.

      • Sorry – can't take alcohol in any form of heated concoction, including hot whiskeys and even Irish coffees.  I'm not even that fond of it in food.  Neat is a different matter altogether though…….  😐

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