Celebrating the C word

I see the flood gates have finally opened.

Television is beginning to fill up with crappy advertisements for crappy products that are either supposed to make the Big Day perfect, or else tacky shit that will keep the Rugrats happy for about five minutes until the batteries run out.

It never ceases to amaze me the range of products that apparently required for that perfect day.  Whether it’s a new suite of furniture or a voucher for your favourite American burger joint, they all seem to be absolutely essential or else the Big Day will be ruined.  I’m just waiting for the undertakers to start advertising.  Everyone else seems to be in on the act.

When it comes to the crap they try to flog off to the kids, I notice every single item “will stimulate your child’s imagination”.  They are probably right.  When the batteries run out and the kids are left with a useless lump of plastic they probably will spend the rest of the day wondering what happened to the toy they really wanted.  They will spend the day playing with the box, so I suppose you could class that as mental stimulation?

One company is harping back to the Old Days.  They are trying to persuade all parents to buy a bike for their kids.  This one I can actually endorse.  I am all for bicycles [provided the kids don’t wear Lycra or banana hats, and keep off the fucking road], but most parents these days will pass on them as there are too many paedophiles and kidnappers around, and we must think of the cheeeeldren.

The advertisement for the bicycles poses a tagline in the form of a question – something along the lines of “What can beat a bike?”


A ten ton truck.


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Celebrating the C word — 5 Comments

  1. GD, I've given up. I don't bother with the television or radio these days.  I've hardly turned either on in the past year. If it's not bad news, it's stupid advertisements.  Interspersed with these are absolutely rubbish programs or films that have become so predictable they aren't worth watching. Radio is the same.  Presenters that are desperately trying to sound either happy or very serious. All very fake regardless. I'm looking forward to the C word. I'll take a few weeks off, play plenty of music, try to visit family and friends and forget about work. Until then, I don't need to be bombarded with it every day.

    • To be honest, I would be quite happy to do away with radio and television myself.  Herself likes the telly so I suppose we all have to make sacrifices.  I'd be quite happy just playing the odd film or whatever on the old XBox!  😀

  2. GD, I've given up. I don't bother with the television or radio these days.

    Same as that. I haven't had TV for twelve years or more. I have a 40" flatscreen monitor (well, it's a 'smart' TV actually, whatever that is, which I use as a monitor), and I either download or stream what I want to watch via the 'net.

    Here in Greece, the big celebration of the year is Easter, and twenty years ago Christmas would pass with hardly a ripple of hype. Unfortunately, the worst excesses of the UK are starting to manifest themselves here now, although they don't yet start in October, thank heaven. But the supermarkets all play that infuriatingly banal Xmas music through the PA, and there's Xmas tat everywhere. (Bah humbug…)

    Still, I'm off to Thailand and Vietnam mid December, and won't be back until Feb, so I'll be blissfully unaware of the whole sorry pagan rite of over-consumption and false bonhomie. And I won't miss it a bit.

    • It depends where you are, Darragh. If you're in Bangkok or any of the tourist resorts, they tend to tip their hats to it, despite being a predominantly Buddhist country. But out in the sticks, there's just the odd sideways reference to it, mainly in the shopping malls and department stores (which unfortunately my wife loves, so you're probably right that I won't escape unscathed). I personally prefer the street markets and night food markets, but a compromise has to be struck with ones nearest and dearest, eh? Anyway, I can console myself with the fact that it won't be all-pervading like it is in Europe.

      I remember when the kids were young that it really was the MAIN event of the year. We spent shitloads on piles of crap for the kids, massively overpriced Xmas trees which you could never get out the door without them shedding about 50 kg of dry needles (which we'd still be sweeping up the following June) and (this was the bit I didn't mind) cooking a goose with all the trimmings washed down with copious quantities of Champagne, good red wine and vintage port, rounded off with a Cuban cigar. It wasn't all bad, I suppose…

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