I see the flood gates have finally opened.
Television is beginning to fill up with crappy advertisements for crappy products that are either supposed to make the Big Day perfect, or else tacky shit that will keep the Rugrats happy for about five minutes until the batteries run out.
It never ceases to amaze me the range of products that apparently required for that perfect day. Whether it’s a new suite of furniture or a voucher for your favourite American burger joint, they all seem to be absolutely essential or else the Big Day will be ruined. I’m just waiting for the undertakers to start advertising. Everyone else seems to be in on the act.
When it comes to the crap they try to flog off to the kids, I notice every single item “will stimulate your child’s imagination”. They are probably right. When the batteries run out and the kids are left with a useless lump of plastic they probably will spend the rest of the day wondering what happened to the toy they really wanted. They will spend the day playing with the box, so I suppose you could class that as mental stimulation?
One company is harping back to the Old Days. They are trying to persuade all parents to buy a bike for their kids. This one I can actually endorse. I am all for bicycles [provided the kids don’t wear Lycra or banana hats, and keep off the fucking road], but most parents these days will pass on them as there are too many paedophiles and kidnappers around, and we must think of the cheeeeldren.
The advertisement for the bicycles poses a tagline in the form of a question – something along the lines of “What can beat a bike?”
A ten ton truck.