Guaranteed Forecasting

I'm fairly sure that in the last day or two I saw a report that Ireland is in for another heatwave by the end of the week.

Then today I see we are to be hit by the tail end of a hurricane.

I wish they would make their minds up.

Again I read today that we can expect "changeable" weather.  I'm more inclined to believe this one for two reasons.  One is that it is confirmed by a bloke in New Zealand and the other is that the weather does tend to change.  Today is a little warmer than yesterday and the day before that it rained, so "changeable" weather is indeed a fairly safe bet?

I can however reveal my own little forecast.

I predict that we are going to have one of the mildest winters in decades, if not centuries.

How do I know?

As I type, a chap is installing a super duper highly efficient central heating yoke in the garage.  We will be set up for any levels of cold and therefore Nature will do its best to confound us.  Hence – a mild winter.

Some may wonder how I manage to forecast the weather so accurately.  How for example did I know we were going to have a heatwave when I took my wee holiday in Cork?  The answer is simple – on the way down we stopped off in Cashel and Herself bought me a new raincoat.  That coat guaranteed a fine spell.  It really is that simple.  A few years ago we had a bitterly cold winter with a couple of months of snow.  Herself bought me some little chains to slip over my boots and from that day on we haven't had so much as a single snowflake.  The method never fails.

Not for me some old wives tale about watching which way the cows stand, or what the local frogs are saying.  No, I use tried and trusted scientific methods.

And incidentally, using those same methods I can guarantee that Warble Gloaming is also a load of bollox.

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Guaranteed Forecasting — 3 Comments

  1. I'm not only having our elderly snow blower refurbished this summer but I bought a second not-quite-as-elderly snow blower, which is also being overhauled, just for the reasons you stated in your post. I figure with the smaller snow blower for the required paths to various places on our property we need access to during the winter and the larger one for the driveway we'll have lovely warm winters with nary a flake of snow hitting the ground from now on.

    But I ain't holding my breath.

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