I am quite proud of myself.
You see, I should be up the walls right now and threatening to take out an entire university with an AK47 from the top of a bell tower.
But I'm not.
I used to hate the World Cup. I hate soccer and have resolutely refused to take any interest in it since I was old enough to know what a ball was. I find it intensely boring and cannot understand how otherwise intelligent people can gain any pleasure from watching a gang of braindead knuckledraggers kicking a piece of plastic around a field. All games look exactly the same apart from them wearing different colour shirts.
As a kid, no one could understand my lack of interest. When I started going to school it seemed to be cast in stone that everyone had their favourite team and when I proudly announced that I not only didn't have a favourite team, but didn't even know what the teams were, I was treated as a bit of an oddball. Even in my work days, the others in the office would spend a morning discussing some match that had been on the previous night and would throw the occasional suspicious glance at me because I never took part.
I think a major part of my dislike is that unlike any other sport, it was always taken for granted that any male had to have a love for soccer. You can dismiss tennis and get away with it. You can sneer at golf and no one turns a hair. You can ignore cricket and no one gives a damn. But say a bad word about soccer and you run the serious risk of having your genitals rammed down your throat. I don't know why.
I had to go into a large electrical store last week. All I wanted was an electric kettle, but virtually the entire warehouse of a store was taken up with gigantic televisions. If you can imagine about a hundred wide screen high definition televisions forming three walls of a large store and all showing exactly the same football match you can maybe understand why I didn't linger. As it was, I was on my own in my quest for a kettle as the entire staff were all huddled in a group watching this wall of horrors, though I did wonder how they decided which television to watch. The whole effect made me feel quite dizzy and the end result was that I ended up with a kettle that I'm not particularly happy with. I just grabbed it and ran.
So why am I so proud of myself now?
Well, this is the first year where I have successfully managed to ignore it completely. I wasn't even aware the World Cup was on until I saw it mentioned in the television schedules. The only time I have actually come face to face with it was in that shop. I'm not even sure why I'm thinking about it now.
Mind you, I do blame the World Cup for forcing me to buy the wrong kettle.