There is a question I sometimes ask myself.
If I had the chance through some weird miracle to relive my life, would I want to do it?
Others have asked me the same and I always have to ask them to clarify the conditions.
Would I just be going back in time to the Fifties and reliving my life with no memory of having lived it before? The answer to that one is a strong NO. While I had some great times and some great experiences, there are too many bad times that I honestly wouldn't want to go through again. And anyway what would be the point.
Suppose I were going back with the knowledge I now have? I think the answer to that would be a YES, as I could imagine it being great fun. Imagine a snotty ten year old doing elementary subjects with the knowledge of the future? And then there is the fact that I would know what the future holds in store and that alone would make me a multi-millionaire [buying shares in Microsoft before Bill Gates is even born? Heh!].
What I would really like to do though is to go back with the wisdom I have acquired through experience.
I don't believe in regrets. My philosophy is that if I did something wrong in the past, I did it for a good reason at the time. It's too easy to look back with hindsight and regret something but that regret is purely down to the hindsight. However, if I were to grant myself the luxury of one regret, it would be that I failed to have confidence in myself until it was much too late. So reliving the past with that one factor sorted would have meant a completely different, and probably better life.
I was a shy nervous kid. I kept to the shadows and took any shit that was thrown at me. I was terrified of just about everything. Now the world holds few terrors and there is little that would scare the bejesus out of me, except maybe a signed Valentine's Card from our illustrious Minister for Health.
So if I could relive my life with the self-confidence I now have, I would certainly do it all over again.
If only I could……