There is a town in the suburbs of Dublin.
Some spell it 'Dun Laoghaire'. Some spell it 'Dun Laoire' An English uncle used to insist on calling it 'Done Lag Ear'. In fact it is usually pronounced 'Dun Leary', though it's never spelt that way. That's what passes for normality in this country.
I never particularly liked the place. As a kid, it was the departure point for the Mail Boat to Holyhead, which was kind of exciting but in later years it became a reasonable place to shop as there were a couple of good shopping centres in the middle of town and they had good parking. It was one of those places where you could invariably find what you were looking for.
Then the local Council stepped in.
They decided that the town needed a bit of jizzing up so they all but closed the main street, cobble-locked the whole place and tried to make it "pedestrian friendly".
There was one slight drawback to this plan. While they virtually eliminated traffic from the town centre, they overlooked the trivial fact that there were no real alternative routes, or certainly no routes that didn't involve narrow roads and nasty bottlenecks. As a result the place ground to a standstill.
It has been like that for a few years now. Shops have closed at a phenomenal rate, partly because of the recession, partly due to the staggering rates levied by the Council and partly from lack of people who by now were wisely shopping elsewhere, where they can gain access and park their cars.
The Council has come up with an ingenious plan.
They are going to jizz up the place. Again.
I haven't a clue how they intend to go about this, and frankly nor have they. What they do know is that they are going to impose a heavy extra "levy" on to of the already exorbitant rates to pay for whatever it is that they don't know what they are doing.
Naturally the shopkeepers, who are already paying these massive rates and who have no customers because of the Council's grand schemes, say they can't and won't pay.
Maybe they'll turn all the vacant shops into "Heritage Centres"? The powers that be seem to love those.
Maybe they'll declare the place a "City of Culture"?
My bet is that they'll spend yet another fortune restoring the place to the way it was before they fucked it up in the first place. And the traders will have to pay twice, once to fuck it up and once again to unfuck it up.
If you really want to screw things up, just elect yourself a Council.