Doing wheelies — 16 Comments

      • "I agreed to put it out, even though that meant emptying it and removing all traces of its normal contents."

        You could always do the same with your arse but what are the chances of the blind scanner finding it?

  1. lucky for me i only have the 2 bins one for garbage and one for compost…but newspaper has to go in a plastic grocery bag and cans n bottles in a blue recycle bag. and its alternating weeks except some magical date in spring and fall when its every week for green bin and every other for black bin but every week for recycle bag and newspaper bag except days it rains and cats stand on one foot with birds making fish sounds..

    fuck it

    • My crowd have a system where they are supposed to send me a text reminding me which bins to put out on what nights.  Now I get about half a dozen fucking texts every week from them and all saying the same thing.  It would be easier to just forget about bins altogether.

  2. You could tell them next phone call that the glass bin has probably been scanned by a CIA spy satellite. Ask the phone caller to contact Edward Snowden for confirmation.

  3. Methinks it would make an excellent "You've Been Had" entry if you did remove the chip, stick it up your arse, and request they come and scan it. You wouldn't actually need to insert it, just clench your buttocks long enough for them to identify the errant device. Obviously make sure that a hidden camera was running, and use a concealed wireless microphone…

  4. "…the crash of empty wine bottles could be heard for miles.  And of course we all got to know exactly which houses were the secret dipsos."


    When I lived in UK, the local Tesco had a bottle bank in the car park. It was always a slight embarrassment when I went there to dispose of the bottles, as I would be carting box after box after box of empty wine bottles out of the car for disposal. Others would arrive, dump their bottles in a few moments and leave, as I was getting yet another box of empties out of the car. It got to the point where I was seriously considering going there under the cover of darkness, such were the sideways glances i was getting…

    • The trick is to have half a dozen Château Haute du Brion bottles which you wave around as you put 'em in the bin.  Then wait until no one is looking and you can take 'em out again for the next trip.

  5. Point out that as it is a glass bin, and you keep it very clean, it is in fact extremely hard to see. Then tell then you have put it out when in fact you have not, and further comment on the transparent nature of the bin.

  6. Scan your arse? Probably wouldn't work as I'm sure there's a limit to the number of wrinkles lines the scanner can process?

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