Herself laced into me last night.
I was having a quiet doze and thinking happy thoughts and apparently she was reading this site.
“Your writing has gone to the dogs” says she.
“In what way?”
“You’re not writing from the heart. The bit you did today about that cunt Reilly was good though. But you still use the C word a lot.”
“You just used it?”
“That’s different. Reilly is a cunt. The bit you did about K8 on the telly was good too.”
“So what are you saying? Those two pieces were completely different.”
“No they weren’t. You were writing from the heart. You were writing what you really feel. You came across as a person.”
“What the fuck are you on about, woman? I always write how I feel. And I am a person.”
“No. You have to show people that you are a nicer caring person. Write how you really are and not how you think people think you really are.”
I had to think about that one for a minute or two.
“You mean I should write about how I like to help old ladies cross the road?”
“Exactly! Just leave out how you get them half way over and abandon them.”
“Write about how I gave a large sum for charity to that nice old man?”
“Now you have it. No need to mention he was a judge. And I still think that fine was a bit steep.”
“I still don’t know what you are getting at.”
“I’m just saying you should be more honest.”
“You haven’t a fucking clue what you’re saying, have you?”
“No. Not really.”
I threw a book at her and went back to my doze.