You lot have no idea of the trouble you cause.
You see, I like Linux. It's fast, efficient and it doesn't keep fucking annoying me with stupid "virus updates" and "malicious software updates" and "programme updates".
Well, actually, it does update programmes occasionally but it does it in the background and doesn't suddenly switch off in the middle of something.
Also it's free so I don't feel like I'm lining the pockets of some cunt in Seattle.
Now my problem is that I like writing my scribbles on the laptop before banging them up to Rambles. And to do that I use a programme called "Windows Live Writer". Its title gives a hint to my first problem – it doesn't work in Linux. I have tried lots of things but it's a non-runner.
So I started looking for something in Linux that does the same job.
I found one – a nice little programme called Blogilo.
I'm using it now. It's neat and efficient and it does what I want it to do.
Now everything in the garden would be rosy execpt that I have to contend with you lot.
You see, Blogilo doesn't have a spell checker. It does, but for some reason I can't get it to work. It's something to do with the fact that I use a flavour of Linux called Gnome, where Blogilo prefers I use KDE which I don't like. The latter is slow and clunky and it just doesn't look right.
So do I carry on using Windows Live Writer, where I have to load Windows [*spit*] every time or do I switch to Blogilo?
I just know you lot are sitting there like vultures on a tree top waiting for me to mis-spell something.
One wrong letter and you're down like a hawk on a fieldmouse.
You have no idea of the heartache you cause.