Report this
I never had much time for Twitter.
Granted itâs a handy way of advertising when I publish something, but apart from that I find it incredibly dull and boring. I donât care if itâs raining in Torquay, and I donât give a shite that you are on the bus on the way to see your mammy. I donât give a flying fuck if you ate a banana for breakfast and I do NOT want to see a photograph of your left foot.
There were rare occasions when the place would liven up and a bit of slagging would start, but those days are over. They are introducing their âreport thisâ button so all those with the brittle sensitivities of a shard of crystal can whinge and whine to âthe authoritiesâ. I sincerely hope the facility becomes so abused that they have to withdraw it!
As for that idiotic General Manager of theirs Tony Wang [now thereâs a name to play with?] âapologisingâ to all those who have been offended. Did he send those âoffensiveâ messages? If he didnât then why the fuck is he apologising? Why the fuck is he giving in to a tiny minority? Prick!
Now why should I care about Twitter if I dislike it so much you ask?
I care because it is all part of the slippery slope.
I remember way back when, when the anti-smokers asked for no smoking in certain train carriages, and on certain flights. âThatâs all we wantâ they said. âGive us those little things and we will be happy and will never complain againâ. Right. Rule number one with the Purists â never give an inch, because once they have an inch they will demand a foot, a yard, a mile and then the whole fucking universe.
I mentioned during the week that all these easily offended people had to so was to stop reading Twitter, but that goes against their vision of the future. You see, they want it all, but they want it on their terms. They canât tolerate the concept of a smoking room in a pub because they might want to enter that room. They canât even tolerate âladsâ magsâ on the top shelf because their precious spawn might want to look there. Now they want to be able to âtweetâ without running the risk of seeing a naughty word or spontaneous reaction. They want Twitter, but they want it under their rules.
I can see their future. We will all have a nice healthy breakfast of lentils and tofu and then all jog happily to work. There will be no smoking or drinking anywhere in the world, as tobacco and alcohol are banned. Sugar and fat will appear only in the dark recesses of the history books. We shall all be happy happy happy, and oh so fucking healthy. The lambs will frolic in the fields and the children will only find sanitised Dora the Explorer on the Interweb. No one will ever say anything nasty about anyone because we are after all, in Utopia.
If thatâs your idea of Utopia then good luck to you.
Itâs my idea of Hell.
I signed up to Twatter about two years ago but I very quickly found it to be totally pointless and about as entertaining as Pat the Plank. Within about two days I deleted my account. The cunts still send me mail though, asking do I know this or that sad prick; or perhaps I might like to join a conversation with Johnny Mc No-Mates, whose currently clipping his toenails while watching re-runs of Bosco. I can just about live with Facebook, as it's kind of handy for keeping in touch with far flung family members.
Hearing about a social media outlet like Twatter though really confirm my beliefs that humanity as a species is well past its sell by date and is currently heading for the evolutionary shitpan.
Usually the only time I go into Farcebook is when Herself wants to show me something. I really get pissed off with all those fucking mails though. I made the mistake a while ago of signing into Pinterest and now I gat loads of inane mails from them too.
Twitter – the epitaph of the human race in 140 characters?
The trick to twitter is to follow folks who have substantive things to say and do so on a regular basis. I enjoy checking my twitter feed a few times a day. I get varying opinions on news and politics that I might not get elsewhere. I also follow a few investigative journalists who tweet news stories before they hit the radio or TV. I like twitter. I get alot of information from it.
Unfortunately, Brian, you don't get too many of these sort of folk on this Island at the moment. Saints and scholars my hole.
What he's really trying to say is that he has a new iPhone. 😉
Blogs, FB, Twitter. Only so many hours in a day. Never been on Twitter myself. Never will.
Am fucking hungover today.
And I bet you're sitting around wondering who to blame for that?
Heh heh heh!! (rubs hands together). You sound just like my other half did yesterday morning/afternoon/evening. Nothing like a little post-alcohol induced self pity to set off a chain reaction of ridicule from others.
Me too !
best to just stay drunk.. avoid the hangover.
Best advice yet.
I know shur, I'm a sage of wisdom sometimes me.
I actually went to the gym for an hour and made a delicious vegetable soup.. badda bing, hangover is gone…till next weekend.
That is the best post you've written in the 2-years odd I've been reading your blog. Thank you.
Welcome, John and thanks! I do my best to spread The Word.
Excellent post GD.
I suppose there has to be some limitations to what people can put out there though..
I think twatter is for gobshites myself.. I hope they all report on each other.
The problem with limitations is who decides them, and who enforces them? The standard laws of libel should be enough. Name calling and puerile threats should just be ignored.
"I hope they all report on each other" I have a lovely warm feeling that that is exactly what's going to happen!