Pulling my chain
The first house I lived in had an outside toilet.
There was an ordinary one upstairs, but the outside one was one of those old fashioned ones with a cistern up high with a chain that you pulled to flush. It essentially consisted of three parts – a bell inside the cistern that was attached to a lever, and a chain to pull the other end of the lever. It could not have been simpler. Nothing to puncture or wear out. The only thing that ever needed a drop of repairs was the chain when someone got a bit over enthusiastic with their yanking.
But that was too simple so they reinvented it.
They started building toilets which worked with a ball-cock. In theory that works well, but there are now bits that can wear out, such as the washer, and a float that can corrode and spring a leak. More work. More maintenance.
But that was too simple so they reinvented it.
Now we have a setup that looks like an assembly kit for a nuclear device.
The other day I noticed a noise in the bathroom. The toilet cistern was overflowing into the bowl for no apparent reason. I took the lid off the cistern and poked around with the various bits. I removed a blue bit and prodded a white bit. I kicked the bit on the left and thumped the bit on the right. I jiggled the bits that moved and prodded the bits that didn’t. Nothing worked so I left it.
For the next couple of days the fucking thing kept up its overflowing which meant that the tank on the roof had to keep flowing too. The noise annoyed me. Several times I tried dismantling the system but got nowhere.
In the end, I got so pissed off I phoned the bloke who had installed it. He promised to come out and replace the units. Bugger! Expensive!
After hanging up the phone I went for a piss.
The fucking yoke had fixed itself.
It has worked perfectly ever since.
Now I am living on my nerves waiting for the fucking thing to break again.
Why the hell can’t they leave things alone? Why to they have to complicate everything? Worst of all, why do they insist on putting things in sealed units so if something goes wrong I have to replace the whole fucking unit?
I've had two of those bastards already. Cheap crappy plastic mouldings at an exhorbitant cost. Designed not for my older cistern so need to be wedged slightly off vertical to prevent sticking to the cistern wall. Present status – not dripping, but primed ready for an inconvenient moment.
Inconvenient in convenience?
Hey guys we found that missing reverse polarized flow modulator for the thorium reactor. GD has in his toilet. Send a team into retrieve it. Use caution there is a dog, but a simple dog treat should solve the issue. I've hear a couple of alcoholic beverage will work similarly for GD.
Dog will roll over for Gouda Cheese. Must be goat's though.
Yep…those victorians knew a thing or two. I grew up in a house built around 1890 and lived there for over 30 years, having taken it over from my parents who bought it during WW2. To our certain knowledge the old chain-pull cistern never had any maintenance during all that time and I reckon it was the original loo put in when the house was built.
Our new loos have to be fixed on a regular basis!
(I don't expect any sympathy but) when the ballcock on our swimming pool had to replaced it cost 25 euros and not the 5 euros the one for the loo would have been, even though it was about a third the size! Obviously it was thought to be a 'luxury' item.
How come in the old days all the bits were made from copper, brass and cast iron and now they are all made from cheap plastic but cost ten times as much? Do I smell a ripoff?
Stayed for a long time at my relative in Weymouth. An ancient fisherman's cottage, there was only one outside loo. Nothing ever went wrong. Now we have a modern bathroom and the new system needs endless attention. It took five people over eight days to install a brand new empty room. I once stripped out an old bathroom and installed a new one in three days.
Is this progress?
In fairness, I don't have very happy memories of the old Elsans. I hated the smell of 'em! I'd prefer the smell of shit, to be honest.
I have to admit though that flush-and-forget makes life a little easier.
Slightly off topic but the same applies to cars these days. Times were you could "fix" things. Now the only solution seems to be to throw the old thing away and buy a new (very expensive) part."Naw, not worth fixing mate. Buy a new one" !!!
Hah! The speedometer went in mine. A new speedometer? No fucking way! I had to get a full instrument cluster. Nearly cost more than the fucking car.
Slightly off topic – was up in your area today, in Kilquade. I gave you a passing thought.
"I gave you a passing thought"
So to speak.
Nice part of the world. Garden center by any chance?
Spot on. They serve lovely coffee.
Must remember that the next time I'm home.
Grandad, FFS so make me feel old and I aint a grandad, the first toilet I remember had a twenty fucking feet drop at the end of it, scarey poops for a little lad lol
One of those "stick your arse over the hole in the wall" jobs? Great fun. Unless you happen to be standing underneath?
Had the same problem with my toilet, kept buying the whole unit..12 euros to buy, lasted 5,6 months, then buy another one. We got 3 toilets in the house, so was becoming a fucking expensive pastime. Then one day in the shop, I asked if these things come apart ? yes was the reply…all I needed to do was break the unit down and replace the rubber washer at the bottom, which was perished…took 2 minutes, and the rubber washer 50p. Nearly 7 years fucking about with them things.. live and learn GD
You have to have these things because you are a happy contented member of the EU, a benevolent democratic institution that governs us and have decided that you will have them for your pleasure and convenience because they are good for you.
I believe this type of flush arrangement was illegal in the UK before we joined the EU. Now it is mandatory and mysteriously now much better than the type we used without problems for the previous century. The fact it uses less water means your drains block up more often too, but an hour or so rodding the drains is good healthy exercise.
This just goes to show what's truly important in life…a good, dependable toilet! To illustrate this a bit further, when my wife and I had our first walk through of the house we now call our own, one of the first rooms to check out was the bathrooms. The upstairs bathroom was more of a bad dream than anything else but at least it had a 40 (50?) year old "ball-and-cock" type toilet. This was good. But not until we entered the tiny "one-quarter" downstairs bathroom that was tucked under what used to be the stairway closet and we both joyously exclaimed, "It's a Kohler!!", did we finally realize what had become most important in our lives when buying a house…
A decent toilet!