Head Rambles Manor, Glendoher, Wicklow, Ireland.
13th May 2013
I hope this letter finds you in an appalling state of health, preferably suffering from some painful and lingering disease which will sooner rather than later lead to your untimely death.
You sir, are a cunt. In fact you have achieved the unenviable position of having reduced cuntishness to unparalleled new levels of hitherto unplumbed depravity.
You don’t know me, but yet you have persisted in writing me emails. Not one; not two but one 190 fucking emails and all containing exactly the same dreary message.
I did a little search using the first sentence from your pathetic little scribble –
“We are one of the best digital images retouching/editing professionals located in China.”
33,100 results! Half those results are from sites where security is crap and you have managed to post on blogs or forums, while the rest are people like myself telling you what an unmitigated little shit you are.
So you have managed to lay your hands on a pirated version of Photoshop 3 and now reckon that you can change the world? I have news for you Sunshine – image manipulation isn’t rocket science. I use Gimp which after a short learning curve manages to do all the things you claim need your expertise. Cut out/masking, clipping path, deep etching, transparent background, dust cleaning, spot cleaning, colour correction, black and white, light and shadows etc.? All grist to the mill of Gimp.
You seem not to have realised that after a whole year and 190 emails I haven’t responded? You still persist in your tiresome message despite the fact that I obviously don’t give a flying fuck for your services? Well Rick, I can safely say that if my very life depended on it, you still wouldn’t get any of my business.
In closing Rick, I wish you ill.
May you die roaring.
If Rick is real and he really lives in China I hope he doesn't meet me. I might speak less politely to him than Grandad's letter. Get out of town quick Rick you thick kiddo, before I contact the local branch of the thought police.
The twat doesn't even remain consistent [apart from mountains of spam]. He apparently trades as "Ricantucsa Imaging Professionals" or as "Toeaasam Imaging Professionals" and uses a whole load of different email addresses. If you can find him, please feel free to apply extreme force. The whole world will be in your debt.
Anybody who calls them-self "Rick" is, in my long experience, a Prick, first class.
Especially if they are Chinese. Probably a Wun Hung Lo trying to sound Western.
Glad I've only sent 170 emails
Any more and I might have got annoyed……