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Bad Shaaba — 20 Comments

    • If it involves the snip, the Jedi Council can go fuck themselves, and the world will have to somehow make do without my leadership.

  1. As a bad Shaaba you where to ritually disembowel yourself with a light saber. However we have not yet invented light sabers so go annoy yourself with a flashlight. (yes I stole it from Dilbert, Scott Adams doesn't read your blog, does he…)

    The confusion about Jedis, Jews, and circumcision came about when an unnamed padawn put his light saber in his pocket and accidently turned it on. How he did that when they have not been invented I am not sure. 

    • OK … I tried disemboweling myself with a hand lamp but only succeeded in discovering a load of naval fluff.  [Why is naval fluff always blue?]

      I normally carry a penknife in my pocket.  You have just given me a good reason to quit this habit. 

  2. This is serious news.  You must move at once to somewhere safe, taking all your family with you.  Protection and a new identity can be provided.

    Alternatively, behave normally and tell them to go fuck themselves.  If you need assistance with this, there are a great many people out here who appreciate your views.  We could all come to a barbeque at your manor to show solidarity and drink your beer.  Don't let the bastards…….

    • While I appreciate your vote of solidarity, you can damn well bring your own beer.

  3. "I am a Bad Shaaba, and I have to become a Good Shaaba
    But I’m not quite sure how I go about that.
    Any ideas?"

    Oh lots of ideas GD.   Lots more spanking and not with a hard brush.
    I reckon a few hundred swats with a good hard paddle would do the trick, until you've seem the error of your ways.. you bad shaaba you.

    Wasn't there a rapper 'Shaaba Ranks'  who sang ' Mr.Loverman'? 
    Shaaba spanks..  haha

     

    • That all sounds a little outside te realm of Jedi philosophy?  Are they into the kinky stuff?  Mind you – yer man Darth Whatsit obviously liked weird dressing up?

  4. "I am a Bad Shaaba, and I have to become a Good Shaaba
    But I’m not quite sure how I go about that.
    Any ideas?"

    You must use the Force Grandad, the Force is obviously with you.

    • The only time the Force is with me is when Sheriff comes knocking on the door, and he hasn't been around lately.

  5. Get out the WD-40 again and give yer aura a good auld spray of it, that'll sort ya!

    • Dammit but their handwriting is worse than mine, and that is really saying something.

  6. May the force be with you. Avoid gurus, shrinks and wanderly soothsayers. Madam Blavatsky led W.B.Yeats and a lot of Victorian intellectuals by the nose – and she got paid handsomely for it.

    • But what do you do when your guru/Yoda insists on following you around anyway?

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