If it isn’t tobacco, alcohol, salt or fat, it has to be sugar.

Now fizzy drinks are being blamed for causing diabetes.

Of course we have all the usual clichés – “landmark studies”, “clear messages”.  How soon before it’s a “diabetes epidemic”?

I have no personal interest in fizzy drinks.  I might take the odd sip of fizzy orange, and in fact I like to keep a bottle handy on a long drive to keep the old mouth lubricated.  I used to drink the odd can of cola, but it wouldn’t be my tipple of choice nowadays.  But the point is that if I want to imbibe in a can of something sweet and liquid, I fucking well will, and I won’t have any nannying cunt telling me I shouldn’t.

What is it with these people?  What kind of grey humourless, colourless world do they want us to live in?  Do they really want us to avoid anything and everything that might even remotely have health implications?

Have these killjoys never heard of pleasure?  Does it not strike them that some people might like the taste of these drinks and drink them because they enjoy them?

I smoke because it gives me pleasure.  I drink the odd pint or five because I enjoy it.  I add salt to my food and sugar to my tea because it enhances my experience.  In other words, I live.  The world these Nannies seem to aspire to is a terrible place.  Not only would food and drink be bland but life itself would lack any sort of joy.  No smoking, no drinking, no sugar, no salt, no fat: in fact nothing but a bland diet of good healthy nutritional, dull, colourless flavourless food.

Why can’t these insufferable cunts just leave us alone?  Why can’t they just fuck off to their bland little miserable corner of the planet and leave the rest of us to lives our lives in peace and enjoyment?

I’m off to buy a six-pack of Coke.

Fuck them.