I mentioned in passing the other day that the phone had been out of order.
Getting it fixed was a big mistake.
Since it was fixed, all we have had is phonecalls with no one on the other end, and phonecalls that somehow bypass the answering machine and ring incessantly. And those calls are always at some ungodly hour like seven in the morning. We have had one wrong number and a bloke trying to fix my computer.
My little ambition is to follow through on one of those calls where he claims there is a problem with my computer and Windows has to be fixed. I want to see exactly what the scam is. I want to lead him on up to the punch line where I inform him I only use Linux.
This morning I was woken again at seven by one of those calls where the phone wouldn’t shut up and there was no one there on the line anyway. I managed to get back to sleep but was woken at ten by another one. Fuck!
By the time I got dressed, I wasn’t in the best of form as you may imagine.
I was sitting here contemplating whether or not to get the whole phone system removed when another call came in.
He wanted to help me fix my Windows.
Now I know one is always supposed to be polite on the phone. I also know that I have been waiting for one of these calls to play my little game.
This morning was not he time for games or manners.
I lost it.
I told him he was a little fucking shit. I told him I hope a pestilence rained on his house. I told him that I hoped his balls would explode in a massive fireball. I told him that he knew fuck all about Windows and did he think I was an idiot. In short, I told him he was a fucking cunt.
He hung up.
Maybe it was wrong. Maybe I should have played my little game. Maybe I should have just quietly cut the call.
But fuckit, I felt a lot better after.