Appreciating Windows 8
For those of you who don’t know, I use Linux on this here laptop of mine.
One of the little programmes that you can install is a little thing called Virtual Box. What it does is create little PCs that don’t actually exist but behave as if they do, if you know what I mean. These little non-existent PCs are great for loading up operating systems that I might want to see or mess around with.
This is a picture of my laptop with Linux in the background and Windoze 7 and Windoze 3.1 also running but on non-existent machines. Clever?
There has been a minor fuss lately about MickeySoft introducing Windoze 8. I thought I would try it out so I found myself a copy [don’t ask. OK?] and installed it in one of my imaginary machines.
Well holy fuck!
For a start it took fucking ages. I had to hang around for about half an hour while it “unpacked”. Jayzus but it must have spent a year in Barbados, the length of time just to unpack?
Then it started installing itself. That also took ages, partly because it kept fucking switching itself off and on again.
Finally it got around to introducing itself and assigning me all sorts of pretty colours, whatever the fuck that was about? It asked for my credentials. I told it my name. Fair enough. I gave it a password. Fair enough. It wanted my email address. What? What the fuck does it want my email address for? It refused to go any further, so I gave it an address I use when replying to those nice people in Uganda who want to send me millions of dollars. It complained. It said that address wasn’t on its list. Tough fucking shit.
Then I noticed that a mail had arrived in my spam account welcoming me to the MickeySoft Live network! So I have just joined a network that I have no interest in whatsoever.
In the meantime Windoze 8 had crashed so I gave it a kick.
It went back into the routine of showing me pretty colours and I gave it my spam email address. It worked this time, and then it asked for my phone number! Why in the name of blue fuck does MickySoft want my fucking phone number?? I gave it a false one and it finally told me it was finished.
It rebooted for about the fifteenth time, and there it was – Windoze 8 in all its hideously ugly glory.
I farted around with it for a bit but it is fucking useless. You have to go all around the houses just to find any of the programmes. It insists on just showing a load of fucking squares on the screen giving me the weather in Rio de Janeiro and telling me I have no mail in my Hotmail account [which doesn’t really surprise me as I don’t have one]. They reckon that to use Windoze 8 properly you have to have one of these “touch screen” machines. I don’t want a fucking “touch screen” machine. I have enough troubles with my keyboard without smearing up the fucking screen as well.
The weather in Mumbai – 27° and Smoke… Smoke?
I got tired of it not working and had to spend about ten minutes trying to find how to close it down. When I finally found the switch I noticed there were two people registered to use the machine – me and my fictional MickeySoft Live account.
I have erased my little virtual machine. Windoze 8 is back where it belongs – as far away from me as possible. It is a heap of shite.
The majority of the world’s businesses use MickeySoft Windoze on their computer systems. It is no fucking wonder then that the world is in the state it’s in.
Why do you people put up with that crap? Do people really queue overnight to buy the first copy? Do people really get excited over “the brand new operating system”? Do you have a secret fetish for watching little dots chase themselves in fucking circles?
Incidentally, if any of you receive a phone call from MickeySoft about a vandalised copy of Windoze 8 and mentioning my name, say Hi from me.
And tell them they are a shower of fucking chancers.
I quite like it myself but then I'm about the same age as yourself with not the computer accumen that you have got:))
I will persevere for a while before I revert to Ubuntu:)))
I must have missed something! Computer acumen? I know how to throw things at it, and where to kick it if it goes wrong if that's what you mean?
Thank you for the review of Microsloth's Windoze 8. I knew it would be bad but I can't wait to find out for myself. I'm thinking of replacing this old clunker of a laptop. I figured that I would have to put up with Windoze 8 until I got around to deleting it and replacing it with Linux Mint.
Here at Head Rambles Manor we endevour to give completely honest unbiased reports. Dom't forget to demand a rebate on the Windoze 8 licence when you buy!!
Well not that I was going to bother with it but thanks for convincing me I am still in my correct mind… at least for the remains of today. Jolicloud and Vista (yes I know but it came with the lappie and no it doesn't work properly but sadly a couple of programs I use require a dose of doze to function) do it for me. I have MINT on a USB stick for the odd occasion when I need a computer and mine isn't around.
I have a couple of Dozy programmes too and that's why I have 7 running on one of my nonexistent machines.
Sooner or later I will convert the world to Mint. If I can handle it, anyone can!
How comes the computer manufacturers don't give people a choice as to what OS they want? Mickeysoft have the market sewn up.. very sad words to be typing there – mickeysoft. 🙁
I couldn't agree more. Why, if I'm buying a laptop do I have to pay for a licence I don't want?
Mickeysoft – Flaccid, droopy and unreliable.
Linux – A grand firm upright operating system, guaranteed to please.
Well, since you put it like that GD, linux is your only man. 🙂
By the way your computer skills are very impressive! You know way more than me anyways.
You should consider giving classes, if you think you'd enjoy it..
Me? A teacher? My knowledge is pure bluff and bullshit. Yup. You're right. I am qualified.
Windows 3.1 – 1992!!
Jeez GD – ye're fit for the museum!! 🙂
I like to remember the days when things worked.
This is why you don't want any Windows. This is what I had to put up with!
Some while ago I fought with problems involving windows seven on my laptop. This story is an even worse state of affairs. My desktop that I usually use has a 64 bit operating system, supposedly better and faster.
Yesterday it refused to connect to the internet. It recognised my router but decided that it would fail to go any further.
After a search on the laptop, which is 32 bit system, and had no problem connecting, the hunt for a solution begun.
In the end I ended up on a windows seven forum and that’s where the fun and games begun. Apparently it is a well known problem with the 64 bit system in windows 7. The services used to enable the computer to enable the internet somehow become switched off or disabled.
When you enter the services area of the computer you’re given a list of about 200 services of which 2 are major players in internet connection.
At first you think that just to set them to auto, shut down the computer, reset, and bob’s your uncle.
No not so simple. each of the services has to rely on being connected to other services or the system will not work.
As it’s the Christmas season coming up. This is the analogy.
Imagine that you have a large christmas tree with 200 lights. Imagine that every light has to connect with five others in a seemingly random order before the lights will illuminate. I was the man connecting them today.
However after all day, and pages of scribblings the desktop is now communicating.
And No, system restore didn’t work.
Time to find another operating system.
I'm off to Linux.
I have a sneaky trick to keep Windoze to heel. As I said, I have it installed in a virtual thingy which creates a file called Win7.vdi and I have a copy of that locked in a vault. Any time Windoze fucks up [quite regularly] instead of farting around with the system I just copy back that file. It's better than a time machine!
Go on! Take the plunge. 🙂
Why did you bother GD? a moment of weakness? I use Ubuntu 12.04 on my other machine. It operates without any problems. Much better than Windoze 7 on this machine.
I like to remind myself what I am missing [and have a chuckle at the rest of the world].
Ubuntu? Mint? Much the same thing. The latter is built on the former.
I'll have to try that Grandad. Thanks
Your thoughts mirror my own GD. I am just glad I did no go through the trouble on installing it.
What about all those poor sods working in offices who are forced into using the new system? More wasted working hours through needless training courses!
I sell a lot of this type of stuff and I have not sold anything with W8 on it. From what I have heard MS is scrambling for the first service pack to change a lot of the OS. They say they are bringing back the start button.
1 day i went a shopping not on the internet , to adsa in the middle of the night , i pulled onto the car park in the hope of been real quick , no hope no chance , not on this starry night , the ASDA is heaving full as full can be , it's cos some new internet thingy came , hit the shops , ho shit i need shopping , ffffffuuuuuuccccckkkk mmmmme i better get my self up and join the madness within , here i come ready are not ……. aaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
And another MickeySoft user bites the dust?
hahaha yesi = yes
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllloooooooooooooooooooooooa blond angel two fingers spread out 2 a breast ho shit jezzzz them pouted lip's fire ice emotion's rise in twisted blood vessels , my fires a burning , would you, should you ,try and put them out . come on it's hot a burning ho fucking hell ho shit my balls are falling to bits , help super GLUE , watch out blond lady i trap u , in this super glue hot house
where are the men in white coats when you need 'em?