There is a site I drop by occasionally.
I won’t bother linking to it because frankly it’s a little tedious and of little interest to most people. It is a sort of handbook on how to write and gives advice on what to do and what not to do.
I don’t know why I read it to be honest, as I invariably ignore every bit of advice I ever get.
They wrote recently about subjects I should never, ever touch. These subjects are too controversial and I run the risk of offending someone. And what are these subjects? Religion [see yesterday], Politics [Hah! That would be the death of this site], Disasters or Tragedies [*cough*], Fanboy favourites [haven’t a fucking clue what that even is, so I’m unlikely to write about it] and Sport [you can fuck off on that one too – too boring a subject].
Anyhows, that isn’t why I mention the site. I mention it because it gives advice on what to do in the event that I find I have nothing to write about.
It suggests I should take a break. Take a break from what? Do they mean I shouldn’t write anything for a couple of days, in which case I would have you lot moaning down my neck? Or do they mean I should make myself a cuppa? I’m not sure about that. I’ll make the cuppa anyway.
It suggests I should write anyway. Presumably they should mean I should pen a long treatise on the subject of nothing? I do that anyway virtually every day, but what do I do when I can’t even find nothing to write about? They’re not very clear on that.
It suggests I should ask for advice. They don’t say who I should ask though. The dog? Herself? You lot?
Their last suggestion had a ring of possibility about it. It suggested that maybe I was stuck in a routine, sitting in the same chair at the same time of day and that I should change things a bit. They suggest moving somewhere else for inspiration.
I’m writing this sitting on the roof.
Nope. Doesn’t work.