It’s a while since I mentioned Penny.
Some of you may not have been wondering how she is coming along, so I’ll tell you.
To recap, Penny is a dog of extremes – she is extremely lazy, extremely affectionate, extremely fast and extremely thick. She is so thick she redefines the concept of two short planks. I don’t hold that against her though as the other extremes make up for her failings in the grey matter department.
I tried teaching her to drive and that was a fiasco. She did get as far as learning to switch on the hazard lights but the rest is, alack beyond her. She has a bit of an obsession with flies and one day we were barrelling along a back road in Wicklow at forty miles an hour when she suddenly decided to chase a fly around the back seat. I just managed to grab the wheel in time. That was the moment I decided that for all her talents, car driving wasn’t for her.
As you may imagine, narrowly missing hurling off a cliff at forty miles an hour can be a little frazzling on the nerves so I stopped off for a coffee at the next village. It was during that visit I discovered her real talent, and her real place in my life and scheme of things in the years to come.
She is quite exceptional at quietly lifting things.
I left that coffee shop with three extra wallets and a handbag.