I had another “oh for fuck’s sake moment” today.
What, you may ask is an “oh for fuck’s sake moment”?
It is that glorious moment when I find another piece of “research” that is so fucking ridiculous that I check the date to see it it’s April yet.
Today’s doozy [to borrow a Mercanism] is research that shows that sitting down for too long doubles the risk of death.
Let’s just stop for a moment and think about this. Suppose you stand all day, what are your chances of death? Answer [for those of you who really shouldn’t be let out on your own] – 100%. Yes. Death is inevitable under all circumstances. Even if you give up smoking, you will die [Shock! Horror!]. It’s not a pleasant thought but it is a sad fact. So how do you double the chances of the inevitable? Does sitting make you die twice? That is is the only logical conclusion.
He claims that all this sitting around increases the risk of diabetes, heart attacks and strokes. I’m amazed that cancer doesn’t appear in there. The risk is as high as a 147% increase. Big fucking wow! Again, let’s put this in context. The odds of my winning the Lotto [if I was idiotic enough to do it] are 1 in 8,145,060. If I somehow increase the odds by 200%, maybe by buying a second line, my chances of winning are 1 in 4,072,530. Still pretty miserable fucking odds, but it shows how an apparently impressive “147% increase” is actually insignificant.
His solution is that we should stand all the time. We should place our computers on top of filing cabinets! Have you ever tried playing a piano or driving a car while standing up? I have and it’s not easy.
And talking of cars, apparently all this bilge started with a study of bus crews in London. The drivers were found to have more heart attacks than the conductors. The conclusion of the study was that it was the fact that the drivers were sitting, whereas the conductors were standing. It never occurred to them that it was the driver who had to cope with London traffic and the responsibility of a bus load of passengers, while the conductor merely had to collect fares?
Who pays these idiots? The twat who came up with this rubbish seems to be a reasonably intelligent person [judging by his qualifications] so why is he wasting is time on a study that is not only meaningless but cannot be applied to life anyway?
I can only have one reaction to this “startling revelation”…..
Oh for fuck’s sake!