Another OFFSM — 11 Comments

  1. So, let's get this straight, if I sleep standing up I'm going to live forever? Or is it only sitting down that I mustn't do?

    I'm off to weed the veg' patch——oh but that means kneeling down!!!!


    • No, no, no, no.  You have it all wrong.  If you sleep standing up your chances of death are 100%.  If you sleep lying down your chances of death are 200%.  Simple.

      Interestingly, he doesn't mention kneeling?

  2. "Oh for fuck’s sake!"


    Yup. That seems to be an appropriate reaction. It's a bit like (according to the Surgeon General) "Half of regular users of cigarettes will die."


    So what about the other half? Assured immortality? Sounds like a worthwhile gamble to me. Win win. I get to enjoy my tobacco, and I have a 50% chance of living forever.


    Oh for fuck's sake…

    • Once you start playing around with statistics, you can have great fun.  You can prove almost anything.  Just ask ASH!

  3. Where is he? where is the cunt who wrote that crap, GD? In the course of my career I spent most of my time fucking standing.

    Apart from the varicose veins from, standing and fucking bad back, from standing, which pains me on a daily basis, I'm not too bad.

    I will admit standing poses a challenge to gravity and being vertical. I used to be taller heh!

    To be seated….oh! for fucking joy…If I'd had a quid for every time I wished for a chair, just a bog standard wooden one, splinters and all, I'd be a Millionaire. Would I have worried about Death…..Fuck no! Too many times I felt like Death from Standing.

    To have been seated for all those years would have meant NO FUCKING PILLS like your seven day thing, GD.

    I think Michael O'Leary would be a believer in the seated and death thing. Has'nt he been playing with the idea of standing all his passengers up on flights?

    FFS is right



    • The cunt that wrote it is probably out touting for finance for a study to prove that standing increases your chance of death by 300%.

    • They don't even show that.  They show that you have the capacity to wangle the right answer for an exam. 

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