Soccer is probably the most tedious boring sport ever invented. It is matched only by marbles and curling. You can watch it if you like but leave me out of it.
The current championship or whatever it is has only just started but you have already bored the arse off me. The prospect of several weeks of it is more than a little depressing.
People who paint their faces and shout Olé,Olé,Olé at every opportunity are showing their true mental age – around two.
While I am on the subject, “Olé,Olé,Olé” is Spanish and not fucking Irish. And it’s about as musical as drilling holes in the head with a power tool. SHUT THE FUCK UP!
The wearing of leprechaun hats should be a capital crime.
What the fuck has a giant plastic inflatable hammer got to do with football? Idiots.
The next fucker who asks me if I watched the match is going to get his nuts slammed by my size twelve steel capped boots.
The next person who assumes I watched some match and just launches into a verbal replay of it will have breathed his last.
Any fucking idiot who advertises his wares by involving football, even though those wares have fuck all to do with sport will be permanently and irrevocably crossed off my shopping lists. Draping a fucking football scarf across a supermarket trolley will not entice me into a shop. Except to burn it down, of course.
The only thing more tedious than soccer is pre and post match analysis. It’s boring, pointless and a waste of oxygen.
Most of the time I just ignore football but during some competition or other, it become my number one hate.
So just fuck off with it.