Do you ever get that feeling that you don’t quite “fit in”?
I get it a lot and it confuses the hell out of me.
I’m in my sixties, and am retired on a pension, so technically I’m a pensioner. And what do pensioners do? They join bridge clubs or play golf all day. Some do both and still have time to play bowls. The really energetic ones will round off the day with a game of Bridge. Not only do I not have any interest in those things, but I wouldn’t have the time anyway.
There are a few web sites out there that give a strong hint as to how I should be living my life. They are sites that are aimed at the over fifties, and give advice on where to get help to send an email, or what medications are best. I’m not knocking these sites, but they give me that uneasy feeling that I’m not quite doing the right thing and that there is a whole world of wrinklies out there that I am missing out on.
Not only do I feel like I’m missing out on all these wonderful Golden Age pastimes, such as visits to the museum or learning the gentle art of macramé, but I feel I am actually doing things that I shouldn’t.
When I read all these articles which tell me how to switch on a computer [preferably when my grandchildren are around in case I fuck things up] I realise that I shouldn’t be using computers at all. Instead of messing around trying to learn the intricacies of Linux, I should be more interested in the fine art of needle-point.
Where have I gone wrong?
Every now and then I get a glimpse of the world I should inhabit. I get a letter through the post from my ex-company informing me of a pensioner’s outing to some hotel or other, or I see a notice in the village extoling the virtues of the Old Folks Club and my first reaction is to recoil in horror at the thought of spending time with doddery old fucks who don’t know what day of the week it is [or what century we’re in]. But then the real horror sets in – I am supposed to be one of those doddery old fucks.
How do I get out of this place I am in and into the place I am supposed to be?