A parallel universe
Do you ever get that feeling that you don’t quite “fit in”?
I get it a lot and it confuses the hell out of me.
I’m in my sixties, and am retired on a pension, so technically I’m a pensioner. And what do pensioners do? They join bridge clubs or play golf all day. Some do both and still have time to play bowls. The really energetic ones will round off the day with a game of Bridge. Not only do I not have any interest in those things, but I wouldn’t have the time anyway.
There are a few web sites out there that give a strong hint as to how I should be living my life. They are sites that are aimed at the over fifties, and give advice on where to get help to send an email, or what medications are best. I’m not knocking these sites, but they give me that uneasy feeling that I’m not quite doing the right thing and that there is a whole world of wrinklies out there that I am missing out on.
Not only do I feel like I’m missing out on all these wonderful Golden Age pastimes, such as visits to the museum or learning the gentle art of macramé, but I feel I am actually doing things that I shouldn’t.
When I read all these articles which tell me how to switch on a computer [preferably when my grandchildren are around in case I fuck things up] I realise that I shouldn’t be using computers at all. Instead of messing around trying to learn the intricacies of Linux, I should be more interested in the fine art of needle-point.
Where have I gone wrong?
Every now and then I get a glimpse of the world I should inhabit. I get a letter through the post from my ex-company informing me of a pensioner’s outing to some hotel or other, or I see a notice in the village extoling the virtues of the Old Folks Club and my first reaction is to recoil in horror at the thought of spending time with doddery old fucks who don’t know what day of the week it is [or what century we’re in]. But then the real horror sets in – I am supposed to be one of those doddery old fucks.
How do I get out of this place I am in and into the place I am supposed to be?
Help!
Give it time.
You don’t need to move any place at all.
Trust me.
You are only as old as you feel and if you start to believe that you feel old – you will go downhill rapidly.
I’m also in my sixties but work 40 hours a week in Tunisia and do not hang around Wicklow all day playing golf/bridge/bowls etc. etc.
I have friends at home that do these things and they actually seem old to me when I go home on holidays.
Or maybe I’m just odd !!!!!
tt – But that’s the point. I’m supposed to have developed a fanatical interest in bowls/bridge/golf and the rest over ten years ago.
Mossy – I suppose I think of myself as being in my thirties. I would say a bit younger but my good friend Arthur Itis reminds me that that is wishful thinking. My problem is that I really genuinely don’t feel old. Having said that, I don’t think I would relish returning to a 40 hour week, even in Tunisia.
Ah, I know all about that fellow – but that is one of the reasons I stay here – nice warm weather keeps yer man Arthur mostly at bay.
And what else is there to do here except take the queen’s shilling!! (sorry work for UK based company).
“How do I get out of this place I am in and into the place I am supposed to be? ” ..
I’m in much the same position as you Grandad (except I’m not a Grandad yet, though I live in hope) ..
The answer is, do nothing, other than growing old(er) as disgracefully as possible .. just like I’m doing .. 😉
How do I get out of this place I am in and into the place I am supposed to be? and just why would you want to??
personally i think you are doing it the right way and the rest have it wrong, but then, i just purchased a theremin and even my closest friends say i’m an oddity…but i have fun!
Grow old by all means, but never grow up!
Mossy -Yiz are a lucky bastard. This country never seems to stray very far from cold and damp. I can feel the mould growing in the old joints!
Haddock – “growing old(er) as disgracefully as possible” Brilliant!! Whether you like it or not I’m going to rob that line!
Cat – I had to look “theremin” up. Well Holy God! Are you serious? Are you sure you didn’t mean “termites”? Or “Marmite”?
Not Green – I agree. But why has nobody told the wrinklies?
moog theremin to be exact..woowawooooowooooweeewooooowhaaaa
GransNet??? Yaaargh……..
I’m only 35 (in my head) it’s the body that’s letting me down. I’ll keep the face, I just want everything else lifted……and some oil for the creaky joints would be good.
I’ll just have to settle for some “internal lubrication” from the bottle.
You’re supposed to be drinking a lot of tea apparently. But you’re also allowed to adulterate it. (I think that’s the third stage of life – child, adult, adulterate.)
Moog theremin, looked that up, so many variations. Cat quite impressed, which style have you choosen?
Grandad your as old as you feel, me I’m like 29/30 in my head. But, if I could choose an age to go back to, knowing what I know now, it would be 19, when I made a totally stupid career move.
Used to take my mum down to the village every Sat morning, she’d have her hair done and then a bit of shopping, passing the local coummity hall one morning, saw a sign, “Tea and cake £2.00, OAP’S £1.50, me (me ever the skinflint) say’s let’s have cup of tea Mum in here, she walked on, and tutted, “I’m not going in there, that’s full of old people” she was 73.
@ Jan M its a standard aka classic, the cats don’t seem to like if very much though..=)
You, and all of us, could be creatively embedded in our second childhood. That means back to illicit smokes in the school bicycle shed; robbing orchards in September; sneaking into the cinema without a ticket after the trailers are over and just before the main cowboy feature begins. Or, on rainy days, playing ludo, chinese chequers and snakes and ladders. If you still have legs you could ring doorbells and run away.
Ger – But I do all those anyway [except for the board games. Are they mandatory?]
Indoor games like Ludo on a rainy day are not mandatory. But if they seem too childish you and friends could always try a few rounds of strip poker.
Yup, ever since I was 6 months old and that feeling hasn’t changed since. I guess there’s something to be said for being consistent?
You know, when I was 20 I looked ahead 20 years and saw 40.
And that was okay.
Then, when I was 40, I looked ahead 20 years and saw 60.
And that was okay too.
Now I look ahead 20 years and I see dead.
Well, fine then. I wonder if I’ll fit in then?
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@Ger – They better be well preserved friends, I’ll tell you that!
“Now I look ahead 20 years and I see dead.” Jayzus but you’re a cheerful old bollix!
Grandad – Just the first thing that came to mind. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t leave so I had to write it down somewhere. I figured here was as good a place as any. 😀
So this is just a junk-box new, huh? Huh!
Grandad – Well…okay, I lied. It was your post that triggered the thought so I felt it appropriate to leave a comment. But don’t mind me ‘cuz I’m from a parallel universe.
A post of mine triggered a thought? Wow! I suppose there is a first time for everything?