A short while ago [about five years] I wrote a little piece about my culinary expertise.

I wrote up my wee recipe for Beagle and Broccoli Bake.

Delicious.

I cooked up a batch of the stuff yesterday and in the process started musing on the ingredients.

I am not a great lover of crisps [or “chips” as the fucking Merkans call them].  I would never buy a pack even though they are always prominently displayed.  If for some reason [usually a large feed of Guinness] I get a little peckish, and there is nothing else on offer I will indulge, but even then I am fussy about the flavour.  Nowadays they produce crisps in all sorts of revolting “flavours” but in the old day there was a choice of two – cheese and onion, or salt and vinegar.  If I couldn’t have salt and vinegar I would go without.

This brings me back to my recipe. 

If you have bothered to read it, you’ll notice mention of a pack of salt and vinegar crisps.  This blends nicely with the breadcrumbs and gives a slight tang to the overall effect.  In short, it is an essential ingredient.

The recipe just wouldn’t be the same without the crisps.

But of course the Health Puritans reckon that salt isn’t good for us.  They look upon a canister of salt as if it were a grenade with the pin pulled, so salt and vinegar crisps would be a primed nuclear device with a hair trigger.  As soon as they start interfering [any day now] then I can see salt and vinegar crisps being one of the first fatalities.

So that will be the end of Beagle and Broccoli Bake.

Cunts.