Nowadays, everything seems to have to have a label or a cause.

That kid at the back of the class who spends his time disrupting things isn’t just a badly behaved little shit who needs some hard discipline.  Oh no.  He has some kind of Attention Deficit Disorder.

That boss who makes you life a misery isn’t a snide little bollix.  Oh no.  He suffers from a Personality Syndrome.

The latest “research” to emerge from the University of Useless Rubbish is that apparently gamblers don’t gamble because they want to make a few bob.  No.  They gamble because of a chemical.  I’m not talking about your average gambling addict here.  He has his own well defined syndrome.  I’m talking about the professional assholes who gamble by trading on the stock market.  Your average trader isn’t buying and selling to make a profit.  He is buying and selling shares because he has “a chemical”.  Apparently, this chemical removes the fear of risk taking.

Of course the modern Philosopher’s Stone would be some kind of chemical that makes us all take risks.  They can then invent some kind of antidote so that no one will ever take a risk again.

Think about it.  Put that antidote in the world’s water supplies and you have the ultimate Nanny.   No more smoking [much too risky].  No more salt, fat or sugar [My God!  The dangers we can find there!].  No more driving above twenty miles an hour [Speed is Dangerous].  In fact, no more doing anything the Nanny States don’t want us to do.  All they have to do is make a simple announcement [Anti-EU talk causes cancer] and the world would meekly comply. 

Don’t laugh.

We are damn near there right now.